135 - doing that thing you do

i feel so tiny weeny. that is me after hip hop with tickets to international idol this friday going with the girls. steph and farhan is going to perform. can't wait for steph's awesome vocals and farhan's barracuda's performance. also this friday my class having an outing to seoul garden for our class bonding. sadly, all the savings this week is gonna get used up. but heck, mum's getting her pay. hehehehhe.

hitting party city tommorow for halloween costume hunt, asy being harry potter, sis being a dead ballerina, mum's being a pirate and me being an angel perhaps? gna go find a halo to put on. HAHA. and idk what should i match it with? a dress? nyeaha. trick and treating is gna be fun!

a lot of my soon to be weekends are full with activities not forgetting i should be starting on my assignments soon. i dont know why i am on my blog when i was suppose to start on my SAWI 1000 word essay with videos or articles and a project outline. just a list to remind me i am NOT having my holidays still..

- Singapore and world issues essay outline ( start research: Fort Canning Park? Arab street? )
- Nursing research articles & plan meetups
- AAP revision ( cnt cope with eugene's lect. )
- NSL homework by friday
- FON copy of tutorial 1 and 2
- Pharmacology test revision (TMR TMR TMR)
- Cell Molecular biology revision (DNA DNA DNA NUCLEIC ACID)

upcoming outings/events
- BDD
- international idol
- seoul garden
- hallowwwweeeeeeeeeeeen + gig
- Team bonding day
- dee's beats encore performance ($15++)
- wavehouse again?
- ... monthsary? =/ have yet to plan an awesome one yet??!

ok im getting crayyyyyyyzeeeeee.

and if anybody is observant enough, my song playlist on the blog is cool so go check it out yawll.
hahahhahahha.

i know i'm sweet like that. cos ive been drinking chrysenthemum tea ( air bunga ) and it makes me all flowerrry adding on with sunflowers near my backyard which i see them every single day when i go to school, that is just awesome. like jason mraz's song, life is indeed wonderful.

thanks hafiz for spoiling me and cooking for me so i have lunch at school.
everybody say it with me, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww :D

134 - he's the one?

we did went to our destination but me being so rushed, i forgot to bring my camera. but hey the time we spent there was totally awesome. adding on we went stargazing and shared our dinner under the sunset, played games that i always end up winning, people-watched like we always do and talked like we've never talked before.

after so long, i've never imagined that i will trust somebody as much as i did with you and i've learned so much that the thought of letting go will crush me completely. remember the walls i've built? they tumbled down, without making a sound.

promises made and hope it won't get broken.

ily.

133 - let me get what i want

i have a looooong wishlist and anybody who could get all the things that i want, i will love him/her to death. HAHA.

second day of school, i dont know why but i am loving what i do. it seems like i'm excited as the day goes by. also with awesome classmates around who are kinda blur and dumb dodols makes it more exciting. the best part is, my timetable rawks like heajfnesjlhvlkjhgsjdbgnse.


monday - looking forward to dance class :D
tuesday - cellular microbiology is darn cool
wednesday - i finish at 4
thursday - i finish at 1
friday - i finish at 12. yes, twelve noon and i can party the weekend away!

have yet to consider going to wavehouse this friday. ooooooh damn eggcited. also maybe might be going sentosa's spooktacular with foc mates or boyfee cos i have a promo which allows me to have an entry to wavehouse, a free house drink and enter to spooktacular.

also red camp coming up! of course, gna be part of it but as a HS ambassador. wohooo.

and to wawa and farah, we can barely meet now due to break slots that never allow us to meet so random texts or meetups will be treasured dearly :D

not forgetting ika and dee, hows schooooooollll babes?

132 - the way she moves around when she grinds to the beat

i love my hair in the picture and that is how my hair behaves, when i want to cut it, its damn nice. i got my hair that wanted, vanessa hudgen's. HAHA

14 october was farah's and mine 'anniversary'. we went to bugis for idk 1231435634582348 times and we went to manhattan fish market to eat. we were lucky to have student meals and were entertained with soapy love songs. there's still a bucket of pictures yet to upload so farah, you know what to do :D

yesterday's L01 raya outing was fun but a bit unorganized cos most of the houses we couldn't go. but still, i had a great time.

i'm going jamming tmr morning with the band, which i have yet to tell you guys. i have a band. hahaha i know it seems weird but yeah.

hahaha so long and goodnight gooooonssss!

131 - he talk like this cos he can back it up

there was RYAN, CA, meetup dinner, raya and rainbow slurp outing.

too many updates, so little time.

130 - ignorance is my new best friend

i had fun baking chocoloate chip cookies with the new machine my mum bought a few months ago. it's really cool i tell you. hahahaha. me and asyraf had to take 10 mins to assemble the thing.
we realised that the instructions were on the thing itself. haha. so we mixed all the things needed and the machine will just mix it for you. the bowl will twirl by itself. its really cool that it doesnt take any effort. now i'm excited to bake muffins!



so i went to johor the other time and had lots of fun shopping. i didnt had time to buy my shoe and bag so i went to orchard to get them. oh yah check this out. my wrist had a heart. :D i only realised it at 12am in the morning at giant in johor. hahaha

and yah one more surprise. even i managed to punk hafiz.
i've cut my hair.

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and i'm in love with wedges/platforms!
thought of getting one soon.
:DD

129 - i'm all yours

2nd anniversary!

so it's the time of the year again. HAHA. it was mine and hafiz's second year. a few nights before we discussed whether its going to be a big or small scale event ( an event is already big -__- ) cos it was fasting month and its hard to dine in some expensive restaurant. so i promised i planned the whole date cos he always has to do it. and yes the plan went way too good. HAHA.

i wanted to make it damn special with a touch of nasyita in it. so i started to hunt down a lot of presents, thanks to ika and farah for accompanying me to town and in the end didnt find out anything cos i had a tummy ache. thanks to my sister for following me find the right present -actually she got paid to follow -___- so the card was carefully made with my bare hands cos the papers were expensive. i nearly had a cut with a pen knife. haha. and i love making cards! adding on, i had 24 small little notes in the bag full of confetti and rose petals that my mum got from school. i feared the present wasn't what he wanted. the notes contained what i liked about him for every month that passed by us.



so i perilously hid the present in a bag and tried not to squash it and make it obvious that there was a present inside. so we went to the cinemas like we always do, running to catch a show. HAHA. we managed to catch the proposal and after that it was nearly time to break our fast and we head to popeye's at flyer. hafiz still doesnt have a clue i had a surprise in store for him after he gave me a box of fererro rocher like he used to. the funny thing was we didnt plan to wear white at the same time and we had the same thoughts of eating popeye and it came out at the same time. well, great minds think alike. HAHAHA.



after that we head to esplanade, and sat at the very same spot where i started to fall for him years back. sadly, he didnt know. but it was okay cos it was time for presents! he was dumbfounded. as he unfold the cards and carefully read every little piece of notes, he couldn't stop smiling and saying awwwwwww after every note. HAHA. and tralalalala, he finally opened up the present and was damn happy cos it was from macbeth. HAHA. i made him feel guilty cos he didnt really plan to give any presents since its small scale. HAHA.

there you go, you got a very very very happy Hafiz.


you know i love you.

♥

128 - playtime for the young and rich

so last saturday i went to geylang and i've never been so mad at people in my life. i'm not whining but the streets of geylang has been overpopulated with people whom i want to squeeze and kill them as if i gave a big fcuk abt them. if you've been there, you know what i mean.

nevertheless, i had fun with my mum, bro, aunt and cousin. me and my aunt were talking about most of the people cos we very becok like that. haha. while asyraf and eliana were crazy about YOYO. (i still have yet to get what the hell they are crazy about -____-) we had a crazy time eating ice cream at TKC ( as seen in the pictures ) we wanted turkish ice cream but we were out of time and there were heckloads of people at the food area near joo chiat. however, we manage to get through the truckloads of people by cutting other people who walked like snails and playing fast and furious choo choo train. HAHA. i am so kiddish. but hey it was fun.

i had the famous mee kuah that i didnt finish and gave to my sister who went for a job interview and only could get the job in 22 days. HAHA. i also had blueberry drink which reminded me of my holiday trip to Cherating. my aunt bought dendeng which got me addicted to it. that i ate it otw back home in my dad's bus. its was yum yum yum. but yesterday's causway point's dendeng was a failure. it wasnt really cook so it was raw. i want kebab now. HAHA

tmr's outing gna be hell loads of fun. i can squeeeeeeeezzzze hafiz as much as i want. muahaha. and i've lined up a few surprises here and there. hehehe. shhhhhhhh!

oh the clique outing confirmed? if you guys are going this saturday, i'm giving it a miss. i'm going to johor this saturday = SHOPPINGGGGGGG for shooooooooes and baaaaaaaagsssss and kuehssss. so if you guys dont mind change it on sunday or smething? or since you all not free then go without me.

gna have meetups with dear afiqah after her work or something. texting her sometime next week. i missed SP's party which turned out to be awesome according to her. dang.

happy 2nd year anniversary to rain and dee!

AND TO wawa = you want hugs? HAHA. i'm all yours.

127 - how did you get here under my skin?

this was how messy when i took out all the stuff that i kept in my drawer. and trust me, all the stuff on that table was thrown away and there's still little amount of space to put something inside. sheesh. i really need to throw away all my past - which made me laugh now.

i am addicted to demi lovato's here we go again which just makes me scream out all my anger and all about having fun. but trust me, it was more of anger alright. hahaha. which in the end made me laugh at myself for being such a douchebag. ( FRED says its a doochebag. i am a doochebag. haha )

shane dawson, fred and smosh has been entertaining enough. not forgetting new moon which made me scared cos its now at the scary part. 60 more parts to go! whooooie~ it also accompanied me to sleep yesterday cos Hafiz was at SP partying. haha. its funny when i hear about it. its just not him. i can't imagine him go clubbing. HAHAHAHA. "and i realise something. i'm not a club person. i'm more of a gig person. moshing in a club would be weird isnt it?" haha hafiz, you are weird.

next thursday i have to substitute as a recept for IM. 70 bucks for my bag! next tuesday - tuition and saturday, non stop tuition at cck and yishun. i hope i wouldnt get lost.

126 - bella's lullaby

i am in the midst of listening to new moon's audiobook.

and now i understand why people are so crazy over edward cullen.



:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

125 - hush hush hush hush

and it was all yellow

im in the midst of creating a skin, since ive got 21 days to spare before my ultimate attachment. i am loving my lappy, fufu, cos it has the most beautiful thing in the world. adobe master collection :D if you know me, you know how crazy i am with graphics and editing.

tetris-sing with hafiz on the phone can be very very very irritating and funny at the same time. its like hearing all the vulgars on the other line while i kept gasping and saying mummyy at the same time. i know, my reaction is quite not really a reaction if that's what you call it. hafiz is a good boy today, went home as early as 12 pm [hahahah cos he never do]

panic at the kitchen just now, just before breaking fast. the whole kitchen smelled like belacan and cili padi due to my epic failure of cooking nasi goreng klasik. dont ask me why the name is like that. i was tasked to cook for this whole week and have to search for recipes to bake cookies and kueh for hari raya but i'm craving to bake muffins rather than cookies. with dark chocolate muffin and colourful bright neon icing with sprinkles and cream with cherry on top. i love cooking :D

back to hunting for my skin and eat eat eat eat eat eat.
ham and cheese sandwich!
nata de cococococococo

maw maw maw maw mymimeeemomuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
i'm watching phineas and ferb tmr morning!
wohoooooooooo

alongside that remark,
i miss chuck bass :(
my chuck bass.

124 - mymemomimuuuu mymemomimooo

i felt it once and i'm feeling it coming once again. i hate to be the one asking everybody whats going on with their lives and whats new cos i guess they dont want me to be a part of it. of course of course, i'm old news. they dont have to tell me. its so easy. just shun me out of thier lives as if nothing has happened. i am a happy girl.

i'm so used to be the one asking and finding out that i'm sick of it. damn sick of it that it led me to not think straight. during my papers, on my way to school thinking that all the damn answers are in my head. especially today. i made up selfish ways just to find a reason and heck, karma hit me good.

call me when i deserve to know, cause i cant be waiting for nothing and still figuring out what is hidden cause i already tried damn hard that im too tired to catch up. what i'm not trusty enough? seriously, i want this to end a damn Fcuking lot.

and now i need a hug.

123 - he is mine

i miss this boy right now. i'm trying my best to keep up till this friday where i'm gonna squeeeeeze his cheeks and arms like no one cares. especially when there are no means to contact him due to his scandal taking over his phone - prepaid card. so i guess i'll have to wait.

i thought of planning to meet up with farah but i guess she's at winnie's studying her ass off. that's the next place i can find her aint it? ika and dee's got school due to exams and good luck to you both. wawa, studying or maybe out with her friends or having somebody over. and me? i just woke up, hoping to finish studying PAS and MIC BY TODAY with the help of an empty house of no calls, no music and no internet - later.

my phone isn't ringing.
perhaps being in solitude works best.
why should i bother abt other ppl's lives ain't it?
being labelled as a busybody or such.

wait, dida where are you?

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
just joking. i bet she's studying her ass off too, AT STARBUCKS.
lol

its fasting month ppl!
(singing tune, neh ni neh ni poo poo) i'm gonna loose weight, i'm gonna loose weight!

kantoi.

122

whatever happened to the sanity that we all had and the common space of saying out whatever's on their mind, i want it back. i want it all back. i can't take it anymore. i hate pretending.

why can't it just be like this

' I miss ___&___ right now!!!! I need to give up one weekend of partying to meet them soon.......... I still love you girls most k? Though i don't show but you must know. xoxo '

121 - bitter heart just to keep it all inside

okay i dont know where to start. i feel like bursting.
CAN THIS THING THATS BEEN BOTHERING ME END LIKE AKJFEKJNWSVAVHANDSDGFWERGUIHRSGJASKDHGEIWAGUHRWOAG
PRETEND GAMES ARE OVER GUYS.
I WAVE THE WHITE FLAG.
I PROPOSE A HEART TO HEART SHARING SESSION OVER DRINKS PEOPLE.
EEEEEEEEEEEE.

i love emo rollercoaster, this will end up in tears.

121 - you're like a dream, a dream come true

i'm a sucker for love songs and the latest song that i'm hooked is by jonas brothers. i need a bowl of ice now to take away the numb on my fingers because i have been playing the chords over and over again to perfect it. maybe i am able to make it a surprise or something. i have yet to plan.

i'm yearning to watch GG 3 which airs during my attachment break in the US. talking about attachement = second batch = my hari raya gone = plan outings with me people!

i realise i've been on this skin way too long. i will be searching for new skins at a later date when all my exams are over and the 3 week break after 28 august is on. fasting month! geeee i'm so excited idk why although my hari raya went down the drain. breaking fast with FOC girls, sec sch mates, boyfee has to be planned alongside my part time work with american school adding on fasting and oh so exciting attachment (which i am scared of).

from now on, i will try to decrease my emo posts as it's shown previously. its just that i had a rough time and nobody seems to wanna listen so i put it on my blog. simple.

i've been sidetracking my revisions and i'm sick and tired of it. especially why i cant beat the tetris score on facebook and also sims 3 which appeals to me all of a sudden and also the tv with awesome movies shown. i am dead meat.

asyraf doesnt seem to help either. i asked him to pester me to study and he will do the opposite.

sheeshkebabhailamamamamama.

=\

120 - i'm finding mr brightside

stay tuned for a pocket full of sunshine that is gonna shine out my way.
i think i am bipolar.

119 - why did we end up like this

i think people have a lot of trouble saying their problems with me to my face.
but when i list down my reasons, all the deaf ears stand before me leaving me to just keep quiet and never talk about it. so how? should i just eat myself up?

sometimes i feel like killing myself.

118 - this time we climb so far to fall again

monday
Fasting
wake up late - yay! (no NSL lesson)
AAP lympathic system (gives me headaches)
break fast at idk where?
DO SOCIOLOGY PWP!

tuesday
Fasting?
FON presentation.
FON careplan = 9% of module!
AAP tuition
HS delegates meeting (wohoo go usherers!)

Wednesday
fasting.
sociology group meeting
AAP lecture
Tuition
Grab my uniform from the shop
study my ass off for NSL prac

Thursday
fasting? no/maybe
NSL practical test at 2-4
start AAP-ing

Friday
fasting?
or should i go out with hafiz?

Saturday
fasting.
Rentak Singapura (!!!!!!)(have yet to listen intently to 89.7fm. so balme myself if i don't know any song.)

Sunday
fasting.
FINISH UP SOCIOLOGY!
START FON-ING.

________________________________________________________________

among my timetable in the week, i only meet my boyfee once.
now i get it why he's been so hard working on this relationship while i'm just cruising thru it.

i'm sorry.



/EDIT/

I FORGOT know THAT THIS COMING SATURDAY IS OUR 23RD MONTHSARY!
OMG OMG OMG.

HOW?

/EDIT/

117 - watch him as he goes

it's a blur. how a day can be the best and the worst at the same time. it's like one minute, you forget about the whole world, just being with your favourite person and they left you feeling appalled at the next moment. have you ever been in such situations? cos i just did.

somehow maybe i have to get a grip at the past and move on as if the past is just history. what if the past haunts you until you fear of what is going to happen in the future or even at this second in life? live in fear or just put out a brave upfront and face it cos it is still going to be there and nothing could change it.

i've never felt so stabbed and morose that every word that had been said started to raise question marks in my head, making me doubtful of everything that i have done wrong in the past that might be right or could go right. what everyone can benefit from and perhaps they can be happier than they are cos i cant seem to give what they want. i even gave myself a chance to learn and show what you wanted me to be and i felt i kinda lost in myself. i didn't know such sincere intentions can get all complicated that it resulted in something else. the thing is i was so brainless and never ever thought it was one of the reasons until yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks. i played a game that i thought i mastered but in the end, it pinched me. how could i overlooked such a simple reason?

whether it is a compliment or adoration, it doubted me now. whether it is for me or just another sentence that makes me go 'yeaah right'. especially after adoring a really good looking person, obviously we're incomparable cos who could i defeat anyway, i'm always at the losing end. adding up to what every other person who have hinted or judge me, what makes your comments so credible for me to believe?

look on the 'bright' side, why are you with me-again?

'irdk'

as intricate as this post might be, i just want this to stay here. NOBODY (including you) to question, ask or vice versa what it's all about. i've come to a conclusion that i AM okay with it and this is just a one time affair and i am just expressing what i think about this situation.

that is it.