i'm a dead person

spasm.

Saturday sumed up as FUN. like 'inney kudusai mmmchunga unthaya'. AHAHHA. only me and my siblings know that, unless you are a HUGE drake and josh fan. :D it was a really really hot and humid saturday with 10,000 people around you in a small little place called wild wild wet. long queues to rides, slow moving lines in the shower and the hot blazing sun shining on your skin with one task in mind, how to find your boyfriend in that tiny little place with people shoving you around. trust me, i gave up after an hour.

i have some foam party pictures in the process which i love them a lot. the others, well not so much. or maybe the fact that didicazly was there to perform at the concert. funny story, i had to run all the way from ehub's toilet to see didi at d'marquee when the initial plan was to find a shirt protector. okay, i know boyfee will be like 'you would wanna run for a stranger when you see him but you dont do that for me'. sorry boyfee :(

but the best part was to ride the ular-lah with a bunch of oh-perasan-hot sissys screaming like AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH in high pitch with me laughing away instead of screaming like hell. but i love 'em sissys. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D

my eyes are dreading to shut them tight and wake up late tmr. i have floorball practise but i won't be coming. i have overdued stuff to do like study NSL before this coming practical test, AAP before i can go crazy about gluteus maximus, FON test before i'm in a state of confusion between its ethics and history, AAP quiz before i'm irritated cos i got 19/20 but now its like 18, uniforms to alter and ironed, CITS assignments and grp work to hand up before i go insane, NPSU'S form and picture before i lose my GL-potential place, the uniform protector to buy before i panic, plan a date with boyfee before i go mentally crooked cos its been long since we've talk, like really talk, plan sneaky weakies and the financial stuff before i loose my mind, talk to my mum about PDA ordering before i use up all the money for that, buy a concession or my monday will be cockup.

MY HOLIDAYS, THEY ARE GOING GOING GONE.
TAKE ME TO DESARU PLEASE!
SOMEBODY!

and i'm still waiting for boyfee to text/call me since 245pm just now. i bet he's as dead beat as me.

what a couple.
BOOOSHAA :(

pocket full of sunshine

catching up with her in MI made me realize that that could have been my future if i seem sure to stand my ground and prove to myself that i could do it. the atmosphere in MI was fun but i'm sure there's too much going on which only an inside understatement between me and her. :D i miss my dear friend. she was the one who was my other half during sec school and everything i know about her, she does the same way about me. now i know why it seems difficult to let it out.
but nevertheless, i'm okay right now. i fell and learnt to get my way back up - alone. i guess its time to grow up. face it, cause it will always be like that and it's gonna stay that way for my whole life.

exams, clinical attachments, birthdays, camps and projects are up during term break.
i can make it through this i'm sure.
i'm begining to love what i do.

:D

and that IS a good thing.

shut up and put your money where your mouth is

i'm tired of pretending i'm okay when i'm not.
i loathe being like this.
i don't even know where to start or how to begin.
i'm uncertain of expressing it to anyone.
i'm too tired to look for anyone cos it has always been that way for a very long time.

maybe it's just the time of the year where everybody you smile at seems weird and you're just left on the sidelines.

crush me.

invincible

heartless and disappointed, i'm invincible.

and we went *stomp stomp stomp*jdhfasjengfkja PSSSSSS
during stomp the yard movie watch at library.

thats all folks, overdued pictures.

who the fcuk am i kidding?

is it just me or every single person i know shun themselves away from me?
did i do anything wrong?

who am i kidding, i guess i did.

insanity

it was an unplanned date. boyfee kinda got me all wired up on nothing -as usual- on the previous night. farah knew what happened. it was funny and yet sad at the same time.

I was going to school in a dress, with make up on for the first time in school. my hair was all done up with bobby pins to hold up my french twist. everybody wondered why i was so dressed up. it was obvious, i had a date after school.

everybody went awwwwww. (haha not exactly)

ladidadida, went the clock and a whole awesome time in NSL laughing my ass off, it was time to officially meet him. i really thought i angered him the night before but i guess it was just a joke. HAHA. apparently the trick was on me.

after a week and a half not seeing him, it was kinda weird at first. he handed me a red rose and suddenly my face lit up like a beam of light. i was happy. the train ride was crappy with our jokes and our acts. i missed him terribly.

the night went on to our dinner which was kinda normal (sorry boyfee) at pastamania. me with my spicy chicken which was so spicy that i didnt finish it. boyfee had problems of eating too much cos he has been trying to lose weight by not eating at night, hence gastric problems. i felt kinda harsh cos i was the one who wanted him to lose all those fats. how evil. :(

after that we went to suntec's fountain of wealth and just talked the night away. he gave me two more roses cos i always destroy his initial plan every single month. every rose represented something and i was a really happy kid. once again, i didnt have anything prepared for him. i feel bad once again.

slacked at suntec's starbucks couch and took pictures on his blackberry which has yet to reach to my phone/lappy. the rest of the night went superb for an unplanned date.

throughout the 20 months we're on this ride, i wanna thank you once again for being there for me, regardless of how i always pushed you away, trying your best to meet up with my busy schedule, allowing me to be who i am and not control any of my actions. i never doubted you in any way. nobody understands our relationship the way we do. i love you.

another year over and we're still together, its not always easy but ill live forever cos we are the lovers, i know you believe me when you look into my eyes cos the heart never lies.

tomato, CATCH UP!

yesterday was just a short catch up with ika while a longer one with wawa and farah. the school timetable seems to abhore us that we all cant even meet each other on campus. either we have no same break or so many new friends to hang out with. Poly seems more of a socialising rather than hands on studying to me.

yesterday's trip to new york seems to be a wild one. a mixture of sexaye icey creamy cold drinks and great company made me go kuku in the brain. i wasnt high. i was just unsure and maybe a bit tipsy. its the mixture of drinks or is it just me? rabak naassshhhh.

the conversation that went along with it made me think very far. giving people advice isn't my forte but i try my very best to give what i think i should be giving. i am in no position to say something is wrong or right cos i've never been in that situation before. maybe i can be judged by what i think cos the way those advices came out, to me, it felt as if i'm a slut. HAHA. blame it on my lack of experiences.

good luck to whoever on it. as much as i know, why do you care about his past when its the future that counts? cheyy quoted by me okay. HAHA.

btw, i saw this pic. am i fatter now?



before


after


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