125 - hush hush hush hush

and it was all yellow

im in the midst of creating a skin, since ive got 21 days to spare before my ultimate attachment. i am loving my lappy, fufu, cos it has the most beautiful thing in the world. adobe master collection :D if you know me, you know how crazy i am with graphics and editing.

tetris-sing with hafiz on the phone can be very very very irritating and funny at the same time. its like hearing all the vulgars on the other line while i kept gasping and saying mummyy at the same time. i know, my reaction is quite not really a reaction if that's what you call it. hafiz is a good boy today, went home as early as 12 pm [hahahah cos he never do]

panic at the kitchen just now, just before breaking fast. the whole kitchen smelled like belacan and cili padi due to my epic failure of cooking nasi goreng klasik. dont ask me why the name is like that. i was tasked to cook for this whole week and have to search for recipes to bake cookies and kueh for hari raya but i'm craving to bake muffins rather than cookies. with dark chocolate muffin and colourful bright neon icing with sprinkles and cream with cherry on top. i love cooking :D

back to hunting for my skin and eat eat eat eat eat eat.
ham and cheese sandwich!
nata de cococococococo

maw maw maw maw mymimeeemomuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
i'm watching phineas and ferb tmr morning!
wohoooooooooo

alongside that remark,
i miss chuck bass :(
my chuck bass.

124 - mymemomimuuuu mymemomimooo

i felt it once and i'm feeling it coming once again. i hate to be the one asking everybody whats going on with their lives and whats new cos i guess they dont want me to be a part of it. of course of course, i'm old news. they dont have to tell me. its so easy. just shun me out of thier lives as if nothing has happened. i am a happy girl.

i'm so used to be the one asking and finding out that i'm sick of it. damn sick of it that it led me to not think straight. during my papers, on my way to school thinking that all the damn answers are in my head. especially today. i made up selfish ways just to find a reason and heck, karma hit me good.

call me when i deserve to know, cause i cant be waiting for nothing and still figuring out what is hidden cause i already tried damn hard that im too tired to catch up. what i'm not trusty enough? seriously, i want this to end a damn Fcuking lot.

and now i need a hug.

123 - he is mine

i miss this boy right now. i'm trying my best to keep up till this friday where i'm gonna squeeeeeze his cheeks and arms like no one cares. especially when there are no means to contact him due to his scandal taking over his phone - prepaid card. so i guess i'll have to wait.

i thought of planning to meet up with farah but i guess she's at winnie's studying her ass off. that's the next place i can find her aint it? ika and dee's got school due to exams and good luck to you both. wawa, studying or maybe out with her friends or having somebody over. and me? i just woke up, hoping to finish studying PAS and MIC BY TODAY with the help of an empty house of no calls, no music and no internet - later.

my phone isn't ringing.
perhaps being in solitude works best.
why should i bother abt other ppl's lives ain't it?
being labelled as a busybody or such.

wait, dida where are you?

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
just joking. i bet she's studying her ass off too, AT STARBUCKS.
lol

its fasting month ppl!
(singing tune, neh ni neh ni poo poo) i'm gonna loose weight, i'm gonna loose weight!

kantoi.

122

whatever happened to the sanity that we all had and the common space of saying out whatever's on their mind, i want it back. i want it all back. i can't take it anymore. i hate pretending.

why can't it just be like this

' I miss ___&___ right now!!!! I need to give up one weekend of partying to meet them soon.......... I still love you girls most k? Though i don't show but you must know. xoxo '

121 - bitter heart just to keep it all inside

okay i dont know where to start. i feel like bursting.
CAN THIS THING THATS BEEN BOTHERING ME END LIKE AKJFEKJNWSVAVHANDSDGFWERGUIHRSGJASKDHGEIWAGUHRWOAG
PRETEND GAMES ARE OVER GUYS.
I WAVE THE WHITE FLAG.
I PROPOSE A HEART TO HEART SHARING SESSION OVER DRINKS PEOPLE.
EEEEEEEEEEEE.

i love emo rollercoaster, this will end up in tears.

121 - you're like a dream, a dream come true

i'm a sucker for love songs and the latest song that i'm hooked is by jonas brothers. i need a bowl of ice now to take away the numb on my fingers because i have been playing the chords over and over again to perfect it. maybe i am able to make it a surprise or something. i have yet to plan.

i'm yearning to watch GG 3 which airs during my attachment break in the US. talking about attachement = second batch = my hari raya gone = plan outings with me people!

i realise i've been on this skin way too long. i will be searching for new skins at a later date when all my exams are over and the 3 week break after 28 august is on. fasting month! geeee i'm so excited idk why although my hari raya went down the drain. breaking fast with FOC girls, sec sch mates, boyfee has to be planned alongside my part time work with american school adding on fasting and oh so exciting attachment (which i am scared of).

from now on, i will try to decrease my emo posts as it's shown previously. its just that i had a rough time and nobody seems to wanna listen so i put it on my blog. simple.

i've been sidetracking my revisions and i'm sick and tired of it. especially why i cant beat the tetris score on facebook and also sims 3 which appeals to me all of a sudden and also the tv with awesome movies shown. i am dead meat.

asyraf doesnt seem to help either. i asked him to pester me to study and he will do the opposite.

sheeshkebabhailamamamamama.

=\

120 - i'm finding mr brightside

stay tuned for a pocket full of sunshine that is gonna shine out my way.
i think i am bipolar.

119 - why did we end up like this

i think people have a lot of trouble saying their problems with me to my face.
but when i list down my reasons, all the deaf ears stand before me leaving me to just keep quiet and never talk about it. so how? should i just eat myself up?

sometimes i feel like killing myself.

118 - this time we climb so far to fall again

monday
Fasting
wake up late - yay! (no NSL lesson)
AAP lympathic system (gives me headaches)
break fast at idk where?
DO SOCIOLOGY PWP!

tuesday
Fasting?
FON presentation.
FON careplan = 9% of module!
AAP tuition
HS delegates meeting (wohoo go usherers!)

Wednesday
fasting.
sociology group meeting
AAP lecture
Tuition
Grab my uniform from the shop
study my ass off for NSL prac

Thursday
fasting? no/maybe
NSL practical test at 2-4
start AAP-ing

Friday
fasting?
or should i go out with hafiz?

Saturday
fasting.
Rentak Singapura (!!!!!!)(have yet to listen intently to 89.7fm. so balme myself if i don't know any song.)

Sunday
fasting.
FINISH UP SOCIOLOGY!
START FON-ING.

________________________________________________________________

among my timetable in the week, i only meet my boyfee once.
now i get it why he's been so hard working on this relationship while i'm just cruising thru it.

i'm sorry.



/EDIT/

I FORGOT know THAT THIS COMING SATURDAY IS OUR 23RD MONTHSARY!
OMG OMG OMG.

HOW?

/EDIT/