fcuktards.

expressionless.

today was the piss-iest day ever. maths was unbearable. english was okay, MT WAS LIKE WTH? and FMU MEETING was gjrenjlizshejrhgjrnhkdnkhjskljgkest. i have enough stress to handle already, can you don't add more, preety please?

i was too stressed that i broke fizzo's pen. ahhh. i'm so sorry.

i can't handle stress in times like these. i would get hypertension if something doesnt get done in time. can i just hope that history doesn't repeat itself.

and one amazing thing is that i saw kenneth at plaza today. ahahah. i was dumbstrucked. and dee saw hujan. it was coincidental. but i knew kenneth was giving that i don't want to look at you face to me. whatever la eh. i couldnt believe i fell for a guy like that. and all the misery i went through. fook you.

i realised when i fall for a person, i get too into him that i would end up hurting myself cause i know i'm not good enough for them.

please someone, its time for you to cheer me up =\

tag replies :

=): yea,u reali change... ( you are? haha change in a positive or negative way?)
dee: ehh ! sabar babe. HAHA ! move along move along ~ (i am moving along (: )
*wawa: i just realise that all ur gmbar kan. u wear the exact same shirt and at the exact same spot! hahaha. bocor rahsia! ( SHHHHHH! WAWA! OMG. HAHA. yah. but their nice i guess? )
H Y T E -: thanks nas for everything you are simply lovely. ((: ILY! ( ily too la sey! :D )
*wawa: fizzo sounds so sweet! haha.. hero of the day seh! woah! haha i got injured too! bt i love today also lah! naughty eh? HAHAHHAHA.. love him lah! shucks* ( yep yep yep. you two are sweet. )
dee: i mean i mean ! gah ! wth? haha. NASEB KRG TOLONG TAREK AKU. kalo tak aku mati ! & naseb u guys didnt let go of my hand lah ! crious i tot im goin to die ! yeaa ! fizzos the man ! gahhhh ! he's the best lah ! he save me too ! lagy2 part aku da nak mati kat steep yg tinggi ! kalo aku mati ! thxs to u,wawa,zhaf&fizzo pulling me up frm tht high hill forest! ( YESSA! :D )
AZHAR: hey, i wan some linking,.. i've lost all coz of my silly mistake.. haha.. plz go my blog and tag ur link ok.. cya ( I will when i'm editing my skin :D )

i feel alone.

this is so candid. HAHA.

so today, wasnt like any other days. this day doesnt make me happy. i looked forward to see him in school but words are a killer to me. i couldnt say what i wanna say. we did a few eye contact but i'm just prasan-ning i guess. when would i grow up? i think he's pissed with me.

yesterday went bowling with my family and tagged ika dee and wawa along. it was fun while it lasted. we had our minds off a bit. dee couldnt forget about ehem and ika missed suarez and wawa, she missed a stopped while sms chap. HAHAHA. funny. high school musical was on the tv and i danced like a maniac, and ppl were staring at me. who cares la.

i feel that i've changed, for the worst? i fear of being called cheerleader. cause i have too much to say about this person and get all hyped up and not care about others. and others are too tired to hear me talking about him over and over again. like look nas, no one cares seriously.

so why would i care about that person when he doesnt care about me, why would i even bother about him when he doesnt even bother about me? okay this situation suck. i want to make a move but im hesitant if i make the wrong move, i'm literally dead. if i make a right move, it'd be impossible to get together. and after what happened to dee and hujan, ITS JUST NOT MY TIME YET, i'm not ready to get rejected.

& i don't want to be having false hopes.

fear.

look in my eyes, you're killing me.

i talked to dee yesterday at night. it was 35 minutes of her nightmare. a nightmare that every girl doesnt want to face. being rejected.

i felt pity for her. i couldn't state down my words, i couldnt say what i wanted to say to her. my mind was cocked up. i couldnt believe he had the heart to say that. maybe he's like that? ahhhhhhh. i don't know when it's my turn. i'm giving up, seriously. i fear of rejection. i don't want to be having false hopes, shiok sendiri and in the end i get nothing. and i would regret if i never say to that someone that i love him. i had experienced it a lot of time thats why i'm always living with regrets.

thoughts makes me wonder, i do like that person but i know i'm not good enough for him. and moreover, he has changed me a lot. he has motivated me to study and do my homework. i couldnt do my maths work but i don't know why someway somehow he made me so hyper that all those difficult questions i could do and get it right. it'd take me like and hour to solve 2 questions la. and somehow between my friends i would be the next him. i love to disturb people, i like studying and solving maths questions is my magical powers? haha. besides the fact that mr lin is my hot physics teacher. hahah.

and all my hard work to cheer him up would be down the drain if he doesn't like me. history's reapeating. i did this the last time, and i guess he knew that i liked him, that he just shut off, not talking to me/not even a smile, for months. and now its getting okay (or more) as if nothing happened. i don't want it to be like that ever again. yes i'm waiting for a long time. maybe its my fault that i couldnt talk to him face to face. it's my fault. it's my fault. blame me.

but i love fizzo's words. the way he said ' guys can't read minds. just tell that person that you like him. ' he made me think. should i or shouldnt? why must guys makes it complicated? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! but thanks ah fizzo :D i love you lah dude! haha. and the rest too!

can somebody show or tell me apa ertinya cinta?

oh cinta pertama.

study group today was funny yet irritating with my brother being proud and noisy. and i had to shout everytime, making me a freaking loud maniac. and we talked about our booth on 8 of august. we thought of really making the express makeover lalala. we'll see what happens.

i just saw the ghost from alone already on tv. we watched alone at my house but the cd wasnt clear. no fun! and the advertisment is scary okay okay okay! omg. i'm freaking right now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHERE IS CHEESEBURGER WHEN YOU NEED IT?

this is not going to be short dee.

watched first love, cinta pertama, an indonesian movie. i love indonesian love movies. its really meaningful. i watched it twice and i cried again this time. 'jika kamu mencintai seseorang, maka kamu harus katakan begitu bila peluang itu datang. kerna kalau tidak maka peluang itu akan pergi begitu saja dan ia tidak akan pernah datang lagi. lalu kamu akan menyesal.'

those words torn my heart apart. should i or shouldnt? but i fear a lot is rejection. i could face it. i have enough low self esteem that i could even make myself cry. what if a guy doing that to me? worst i tell you.

and dee, sorry to hear ah. omg. seriously, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

the talk at mac was hilarious. all the diff scenarios on dates and weddings. makes me wonder what it would be like to actually fall in love and be in bloopers of dates. HAHA. omg omg omg. the mcflurry incident. scary la. no eye contact. nonono. hahaha.

but whatever it is, i love them loads. i mean life has its ups and downs and god has created each and everyone of you a right person. so don't worry. maybe god is telling you its not the right time yet or maybe he's saying he's not worth your love? ahhhh. you'll get one soon enough okay. dont be too hard on yourself.

in fact, i am tired of eating cheeseburger everyday! hahahaha. once in a while thats okay :D

my mr hero for the day.

he was the hero of the day.

friday friday friday. i love fridays i don't know why but today seemed better than any other days but still couldnt beat the best day of my life. :D

FMU was the only thing that made me content. We were suppose to do nothing today so we did a few excercises and trekked the jungle next to our school. it was yuck but the people made it fun. for example faizzin got reception on his phone. HAHA. in the jungle. imagine that. and mad was hated as mud was his best friend. and dee for shouting so loudly when she thought it was an insect on her hand but it was eventually a twig. ika was with keYAQINan. hahaha. and wawa was sweet with her PBI. haha. so so sweet. jealous tau. 'naughty eh?' everybody went 'AWWWWWWWWWW.'

and fizzo was so sweet today! he saved me alot. from red ants, mosquitoes, branches with thorns, leaf traps, this furry big fat worm, twigs stuck on my leg, leaves on my hair, slopes, big longkangs and slippery leafs. he kept checking if i was okay. and i'd be like 'er yah.' aha. when i wasn't really okay. the first slope took eternity la. he was the anchor man and we had to carry dee up. hahaha. i couldnt let go. okay shan't elaborate more. and the soccer match was funny. i had to defend him and he always got his way. hahahaa. and thanks for the song dude. i love it! hahaha. thanks hero. let me borrow your POA book again. weeee~

i don't know why but i hope i'm giving the right message. if he does like me i hope what he think he's doing is right. but i realised we've been getting closer la. but but but. i have no topic to say to him and it'd be like so awkward. padahal di msn kami bercakap seperti kawan biasa. but outside, its like i can't talk to him. its just wierd.

oh oh SS test postponed. WEEEEE~

today was official injury day. zhaf got his teeth banged by fahrain, rain fell down on a slippery floor, dee got hit by a metal thingy, i slipped and fall in the forest. maybe there were lots more but i didnt noticed.

i was longing for it, it felt right?

how ironic.

exams coming around the corner. i wanna have study dates. clique? how? i need help in Amath and math most probably. i could teach you POA in return. lalala. make a date please please please.

i'm mesmerized with chris brown's moves in his latest wall to wall video. especially the last dance part. i wanna learn that! its coool! haha. but chris brown seems thinner and he's got more muscles than before and a new tat and also a new haircut. okay nas, ape ko mepekkk. he's hot.

ironically, i've been upset these few days. i don't know whats my reason for it. certainly it would be my parents. how naive they're acting to each other. and my so called friend situation and also this someone. i found out that when i'm ecstatic, no one would be there to share my joy. maybe there is but they do half heartedly. they would be down and i cant seem to cheer them up and get high with me. now when i'm down, i'm all alone, quiet and being away from my friends, they'd be extremely happy that i couldnt say anything and just smile and hope for the best for them. and seriously the word alone is really alone. and i don't have to share my sorrows with. but that's okay.

and its funny how my phone would drop when i get this person's messages. my phone's all dented and scratches here and there. its weird. i guess my phone knows how i'm feeling too but don't suffer first my beloved phone, i still need you. :D

and wawa's convo during recess was funny. i didnt even listened to her. i sorry i was blinded by my sight. haha. i know you know la okay. and and thanks syafiqah for smuggling food for me and cikgu syahida's laparness during MT. haha funny yet.. funny. LOL.

Blasting my earphones with yellowcard, the used, silverstein and boys likes girls made me scream my heart out. i had to do that to let my anger and frustration out. it helped alot. but my siblings were pissed with my monotonous yet loud. who's not pissed? haha.

till here, i hope there would be better days for me ahead.

(:

maybe there's a way out

my thoughts are wondering and wondering. i'm never gonna get him. sheesh. i'm trying. very hard. and i feel like giving up, i couldnt bear risking our friendship.

good luck to dee and lala :D you'd be the sweetest couple ever with him okay. i know you can do it and i hope he's ready. ahha. 20.08.2007? hahaaaa. as for me? 20.09.2oo7. ape mepek deeee :D she thinks too far but thats good actually. stay long with him. go go go dee! padahal belum ada apa-apa lagi la. and after that the singles by the singles will lose another member. LOL.

okay okay okay. its been long since i barely talk to him. and aidil maccaronni is online after a long long long time and i said hello and he didnt replied. SHEEEESH. aidil menghilang seh! i wonder how he's doing right now. i couldnt believe ika said i let go of a hardcore kid, which i like and he does seem to respond. that was a long time ago. ever since kenneth got in the way. sheesh, i'm so dumb.

but yet, right now all i want is to speak up and say the words i wanna say. making it unobvious. i like that someone okay. :D

i wonder when would this happen to me :

Our bodies to hand with the Jersey shoreline
Connecting the tide to the sand that was dry
And we both laid entwined, stared at the night
Clouds overhead, but that was all right
Cause then and there with the wind in your hair
Heaven was jealous to merely look fair against you
And all I need now is for this moon to keep light in its desolate skyline for good

So divine is this happening
Cant I just graze your skin
For the rest of our time
But time isn’t letting this night go on
Till then and there, the wind in your hair
Nothing in this world could keep me from staring at you
And all I need now is for that sun to stay under its glowing horizon for good,
Failing you now

You could get lost in a night like this
So empty your thoughts and open your heart to the bliss
Cause these are the nights

forever and a day.

i look better in pictures, seriously.

so today was more fun than yesterday. okay i just cant get away from my clique. its like we can't be separated? weeee :D i love it okay. share the bondness. imagine wawa is already with ehem and dee is with lala and ika tetap yaqin, i'm with?

it's hard to say who i like. i like everyone. but i tend not to talk to the person i like and would just observe their every move. if someone feel that way, i'm sorry. i cant let my words out. i tried to talk but the words just can't seem to come out. i'm not silent or anything. i can't speak. i'm like that. that someone would make me speechless and i'd stutter. if i have been acting that way to you, go get a clue. :D but i'm not hoping and i would stop hoping. i'm gonna give up someway somehow.

i treated dee wawa ika adh fizzo chap fiz and rain missy donuts :D i don't know why i would plan such a silly thing but i wanted to cheer up this someone as dee said he was frustrated. i couldnt ask him so i ended up treating a whole lot of people. haha. and it's cause i got my pay. so, i hope they like it. lepak-ing with them was just extreme fun. crappy yet fun. and i was in a daze after eating 2 almond choc donut, fries, some cheeseburger and ice lemon tea. also fahrain walking round in circles and just doesnt want to stop and farts given without warning, making me more dizzy.

so overall, i love love love today. i guess its getting better and better forever and a day. and i'm pleased to go to school today because i love today!

:D

you make me wanna drop, you're so ridiculous i could barely stop.

so go on and say my name somemore.

yes, i'm adequate

i was looking forward to go to school today. why? looking forward to see all my friends and loved ones that i miss. wierd i know. HAHA. but dee wanted to go early today as she wanted to wrap some present for rain. yessa. rain, happy bday

hugs from wajihah after every lesson became a necessity. i feel loved after a whole lot of it. and of course dee's crappyness, ika's blurness, adh's goofiness and fizzo's 'mintak kene sepak' attitude became close to my heart these few days. i enjoy them very much and i can't bear to loose it all.

i don't know why but these are the things that get me to school everyday. even lessons bore me to death. i tried to not sleep in A*math lesson today as i don't want to be judge by other people that i'm a bad person. 2 periods plus emath period before, total of 3 period of math, all after recess. math was quite relaxing but confusing. had to do this correction. AHHH. chore i tell you. CHORE. and i made a new friend for amath! LIQING! YEAHHH. hahahah.

her : 'ehh whats the factor?'
me : 'i don't know. ask cher.'
her: ' i don't want'
me : ' i tell you the remainder is -27'
her : ' nooo. its 27'
me: ' noooooo. its -27'
her : ' nolah!'
me: ' *gave up* just go put -27 then you get the right ans.'

she ended up with the right ans anyway. HAHA. and i lost my file's slider. HAHA. and now it cannot be closed.

for some wierd but good thing, this guy is getting closer. yes i like it but dont give lame reasons la sey. HAHA. just say what you want. okay. i'm not in a rush and i'm not expecting things. but just make a move when you want to okay. i don't wanna regret anything and i don't want to loose anything from my life. and i blushed just now. after a quite stupid actions. HAHA. ape ko mepek nas

after school went to lot 1 to eat lunch at ljs. dee was quiet. didnt get what she wanted. so i couldnt say what i wanna say. but i hope i made her happy with the fries and all. HAHA. kan kan gf? LOL. and she said hotstuff while i was crossing and she also said borebaretom. HAHAH. it was meant to be barebottom. and nunu got teased, ' LULULULU!' hahah. coffee bean incident

okay i know this post is quite empty but i dont see whats the point of my life, serious.

:D

i don't know why, i can't keep my eyes off you.

NUNU is love (:

it was suppose to be a date for me and dee, study group but nunu tagged along to hang out. and i love her laughter, very cute indeed. i remembered the coffee bean guy got her name as lulu and not nunu. HAHAHA. and then they played with the name lululululululu. OKAY. i know thats sad but that was the highlight of the day.

wanted to go to orchard library. it was packed and too small. it doesnt even look like a library to me. haha. there were some functions going on. but it made us change our minds to study at coffee bean in taka. that's when stupid stuff happened. nunu being called lulu, a guy went into the ladies toilet, i became a teacher and taught dee and dee got a surprise from her be-friend. we did girltalk in between our homeworks. mine went down the drain. i didnt manage to finish it up. so tmr would be a boring homework day for me.

went to marina square for lunchner. ate at lerk thai? LOL. the service was bad and there was a frantic baby in the restaurant, crying his heart out a lot of times. made us pissed. and i learnt to 'walk (ta-teh) ' like a baby. HAHAHA. i got a cramp after walking with dee stupidly. i didnt know why. and nunu got her leg cramp after eating. HAHA. it was funny. and the walk from marina to penin was a chore. i had my leg filled with blisters as i was wearing a new shoe and we were mad at searching the toilet. HAHA. and and i saw SAYDIQ, IKA! omg. *speechless*

somehow someway, i feel empty during bus rides home. yesterday was one of them and today i didnt cry but i held it inside. i don't know why but i feel like a failure in life. with my parents and my siblings. my friends to a loved one, who doesnt know i love him. everything is just a failure and i feel empty. what have i been doing to people these past few days, they dont deserve it. especially mum, i totally did not gave a listening ear. and this 'cheerleader', i shouldnt mention who ruined most of our lives, we fear of her prawling on the guys we like. its just, failure.

i should change from now on. be a better person, get noticed and smile. i still have to hide away all my pain and suffering inside but a smile won't hurt anyone.

now what i fear is ... falling in love.

me and dee, giving fake smiles.

sorry tkde gambar lagi lawa. send me the pics.

i gotta show you i'm the one.

one day, there live 2 nerds in school. they werent paying attention much to the teacher and was being rebels. it turned out that one of the nerds is gay, with a nice hairstyle.

aha. thanks ah leon, bro. you cheered me up in school every day (:

friday it is and it was a mayhem. family probs, friend probs, academic probs. just so many problems yet i'm trying my best to have fun.

family's been fcuked up. yes. i couldnt bother getting into it. friends has been great. congrats to wawa and her boyfriend! at last i can call him boyfriend. HAHAH. good luck to you and him. i know he gives you laughters and all. so you're totally happy now right? good good. i envy you. pftttttt ~

school's been hyper lately. jz, leon, ch, fit, dee, ika, wawa, adh, fizzo - great friends okay. hahah. i realised we lepak after school everytime and its like hard to say goodbye to each other. but too bad fizzo had soccer at kallang stadium today. me, 'kalau kau lambat camne?'fizzo, 'bola main aku ah'. me 'macam mane tu'. THAT SOUNDS SOOO WRONG. hahahahah. went on to fits of laughter.

and i'm glad this other guy has been making me happy since that day. i have been remorse/alone/mundane for the past 2 terms and i went depressed because of the way i look. this guy made me ecstatic ever since and left me hyper all the time. the thought of him just makes me go lala. and i'm trying my best to show, yes. i'm trying okay dee :D its like the first time i fall for someone. ahhhh. (:

bukit chandu today was a blast. had fun playing volleyball/soccer. ahahaha. was fun, and sorry adh you had to take the ball from like a 5 storey hill lar sey. becoming a hero eh? LOL. sliding down the road and having adh to be on fire was a blast. HAHAHA. its like, magic? LOL. okay okay. i hurt my angkle after sliding. a scratch but it was okay :DD

girl talk is so fun. and i'm gonna confess everything to dee about what i'm going through right now. tmr's a date then, me & dee, orchard library. i'm saving my tears for tomorrow.

and i did cry on the way back home.

=\

i'm still waiting in line.

eyes aren't visible

that is what i would describe these few days. ecstatic. i'm too content that little little things took into consideration of building a new friendship. ahaaaa. another merepek statement.

too happy, yes. lately, problems has been botling up but i took it all away in school. thats a place for me to make myself happy with friends around. everyone's happy. ika, wawa and dee are like the best to be around with.

wawa and her be-friend, good luck to you both. tmr's 20/07/2007. HAHAH. adh thought it was a nice date to hook up la. HAHAHA. okay okay (: dee and her be-friend, good luck to you too ah. hahaha. you guys are so cute together. very compatible and sweet to look at. hahaha i cant wait for you guys to hook up la! ika and yaqin, good luck too (: its been a while hearing about you and him.

and as for me, i'll take it slow. i have this problem of not showing my feelings. i would impersonate myself or people as another person when i talk to a person who wants to know how i'm doing with my life. i always regret of not telling how i feel towards the person i like. and it took me 3 years to forget totally about him. i don't even understand myself. so i need to change my attitude and be more open i guess. so yes, more hintings okay. but i'm not hoping much. its hard to get him and he won't notice. seriously. HAHA. pfftt. all those heartbeating moments lar sey.

I enjoyed dodgeball during PE. it was quite stupid to play with 5 against 2 with only 2 balls. HAHA. and they were leon and JZ. they're so easy to catch the ball so we hardly won. cheryl got injured as leon hit her on the face too hard i guess. once i got into fits of laughter seeing jz catching the ball at the start and i was trying to get the ball when he snatched it from me and i fell on the floor laughing. he hit me with that ball, funnier!

classes are getting better. i love erica! haha. she's like a sis to me. so sweet and kind. we crap around a lot ah. and weixi and her knows my secret. lalala. okay. that was childish of me.

okay tomorrow's friday, i love lar sey.

HEEEE :D

i got too close for comfort.

okay. someone made me extremely happy today. and thats a good thing after a long while of 'i don't know why i am in school? ' today i feel kinda complete? yeah. i mean for myself. i feel that i'm here. standing, visible to all. yes i felt somone noticed me and that was one of the best feelings in my life. i haven't reached there yet and now i've accomplished it.

ape ko mepek la nas. -_____________-

nafa was an ass. haha but i passed a lot of it. ' i'm a healthy person *tweest* '. lol. i don't know how would my 2.4km be tmr. i so hope i pas by 10 seconds? it makes a lot of difference okay. i don't want to fail it.

things got preety interesting in school today. adh with his lar sey always. and he was hyper because of? lol. dee to is trying to smile, hiding her pain. but whatever it is i'm here for you okay? ika was the same but she's not a healthy person! ahaha. wawa was with her lovely be-friend. haha. unamed but people do know. they're sweet together okay. fitri was hyper to i guess. farah was crazy. fizzy was mad. and fahrain is not childish. i support him okay. there's still a lot of people playing psp and playstation and they're over 40 okay. so i do support fahrain! hahaha. stand up for him la sey. hahahaha.

okay i'm content but i wouldnt overdo it. i guess.

okay love you la sey, readers.

(:

such luck.

today was the day that i looked forward to. it was because school ended early but is was so mundane. especially math. not only the teacher is like ahfuiaehgfkehkajtfe but i needed to do twice my questions cos i handed in her homework and she said she doesnt have it.

like -_________________________-

luckily it was the last period so i was holding my frustration till the end.

people were sad and gloomy today when i was elated. but sometimes life has its ups and downs so you have to bear with it. you don't expect to see people being gloomy and have the rest of other people to be gloomy with you. and sometimes i don't understand myself. like why am i doing this or that. it just doesn't contemplate what i need to do in life. and i heard someone say this 'whatever you look like, however you are, there's still someone for you in this world and it will come by when its the least expected to.' yes, and if it is love, it will come by naturally. trust me. and i live by that phrase actually. i'm waiting even if it take years.

HAHA.

okay. okay. okay. ((: you lah gundu.

BYE.

so ass.

elated

no one ever reads my blog. so sad ): If there are readers please do tag. it looks dead la.

today was quite an interesting day i suppose. harangue is a new i word i learnt. okay let me use that word. today i was not harangued by any teacher but harangued by a couple of friends about their lives. interesting yet i'm still here. have you ever felt that you totally lost control of yourself and just fcuk life? i did.

okay. now. i'm going for netball training. its been long.

and say hello to the new world, complicated life, unbearable hintings and compromising friends.

[EDIT]

yessa. back from netball. my hand is in awful pain but overall it was a nice way to gain my metabalism. ahaaa. i've been eating LOADS. and im still hungry. wahhhh. okay. so i can be sure that i wouldn't go sideways. wee :D

i could put the picture of my finger right now. its so swollen and blue black that it couldnt be bent or move. i think its broken. and i'm typing using fingers that are not swollen. HAHAH. okay my hand is disgusting. seriously.

i'm feeling hyper right now at 12.41 am. i don't know why but this feeling is different from what i've been feeling. i don't feel sleepy actually. something made me this way or someone. ahaa. i got too much of energy during netball and wasnt tired. and i'm talking to a lot of people who can't believe i'm still awake right now. okay. this is overeacting dude. nonono.

this can't be it. or is it?

[/edit]

hi stranger.

hello hotstuff(:

let me introduce to you a guy with great talents and looks. AHA. my newly obsession, KYLE PATRICK :D okay. he is hot lah. ahhhhh. he's the new lead singer to the click five. he's the type of guy that i would go for. weeeeee (: i might be migrating to the europe, for that? i guess. i'll be travelling all around the world after i'm joining an airline, serious. AHAHAHA

today was a tiring and long day to me. girl talk with fitri let me all out about my feelings. and i felt good after letting it all out to her. i didnt have time to talk to the rest because i'm scared it would came out in the wrong time and place. letting it out was quite funny and easy. ahaha. she made me so comfortable to talk to her. after the talk i realise, i'm an absorber. AHAH. like in keeping things to myself and dont talk until someone ask me to. fitri also had her problems with her bf and the guy. its funny listening to her stories. we did that over a nice milk tea ice blend and oreo choc. and the long walk from school to plaza. and the conclusion was made that guys in our school are dumb. HAHA. in a good way not bad.

harry potter is now in cinemas. i wanna watch it. transformers too! and tomorrow there's no cca. weeee, i made plans! okay okay. shan't be excited about it.

and tmr i'm having SSSS lesson. HAHAHAH. figure that out. only wawa knows and she's NOT suppose to tell ANYONE.

theres no kindness in your eyes, the way you look at me is just not right. theres a stranger in my life. you're not the person that i once knew, if they could only see it like i do.

they may see a stranger too.

knock knock.

the clique

i miss langkawi right now. the wind, the atmosphere, the friends. it was simply perfect. those who went knew what happened. it was a great trip with great friends and also learning great knowledge. although it was a bit hard to write down reflections in malay ending with a pantun or sajak. the rest it was mostly pure fun. i miss drinking chrysantymum tea -which the guys bought a carton of it- and i drank it during the lepak time at night. with kuachi and crackers and card games, pathetic jokes and madness. ahaaa. prank calling was the highlight of the tirp. HAHA. i remembered song dedications and wake up calls. hiak hiak. was pure fun.

stress is building up. more homeworks are piling up and now it just hit me, i'm doing my o's in less than a year. whoa. stop time for me.

i had too much fun that knock knock, comes the reality. don't even talk about preperations. its just madness. i'm turning bald. i'm losing my hair. seriously. and classmates are just being them. i only expect for tiangyun, fitri, leon, jz and ch to entertain me in class. which always resort to the teacher staring at me and i needed to shut up. okay. i need entertainment. seriously.

mum just bought a sony mp3 walkman for herself. it was in preety pink and is charging right now, at 1.30am. we downloaded the songs she wanted. for like 4 hours? hahaha. most of it were malay songs. some familiar some totally in another language for me. ahha.

ouh yeah. KAYAKING. forgotten about that. thats another friend bonding builder. especially those with sunblock mania peeps. HAHA. and the water-splashing-revenge-cum-capsizing-saboing-people. yes. i did have fun. and the trekking to adam road was crazy. HAHAH. i think we walked for like 1 km. haha. and decided to take the bus after a tiresome long walk. but overall, i seem to have a new someone for entertainment. geeee. that sounds wrong. but that person made me extremely happy lah.

okay i have one emo karangan to do and its 1.40am. i want to watch liveearth!

go save the world! weehoooo :D

craves

the selenges at ben's farewell. imy ben.

okay, i'm indulging in lemon tea right now. oh how i miss it so much. and yes, i bought missy donuts. which took a long time to get 3 of it. you know what i crave right now? my starbucks. aahhhh.

school has been okay with the same people just acting in a wierd way for example this person is totally ignoring me. and i dont even have a topic to say. i think the person knows and im in a state of guilty concience. but whatever that is, i miss the way we crapped. and i teared during PE yesterday about the fact that its been a long time? okay. i am so not emo. but imagine you miss talking to that someone and that person just shut to you just like that. okay okat whatever.
saya ingin memperbaiki bahasa melayu saya. jadi, jikalau saya cakap di alam siber sebergini dengan kamu, janganlah anggap apa. saya ini seorang pelajar melyu. tidak salahnya saya cakap sebergini. harap kamu jangan kaku ya?

i'm quite free today as i don't have any social studies essay to do. phew. i did it yesterday. luckily the class didnt present today as miss liew was in charge of the assembly today. yeah! so it is postponed to next thursday.

and you know what peeps? TOMORROW'S FRIDAY. YEAAAAA! time to party, well not so. hahahahah. i'm going kayaking tomorrow with my FMU peeps. and i am so gonna be tanned. and yes i'm looking forward to what's gonna happen tomorrrow. ahhhh the closeness is unbearable.

just dancing

adicted to a new song. Hanya menari by imran ajmain. very touching. about how a person feels when he's with this girl, his bestie, and another guy, his bestfriend. he has feelings for the girl but just back up when he knows she's just a friend.

and yet my friends, oh how i miss them. endure the heed. i don't know why feelings are overated when i think about my current situation. pfft. i don't have new friends. i need one or more. but too busy to enlarge my social circle, furthurmore i'm low than adequate looking. okay i need to hold this together.

batam was best. i only managed to get one little miss tee. which was quite okay. nothing in the surf shop excites me. all were expensive and couldnt get what i wanted. there's this rusty vintage tee. wanted to buy but mum was stressing on the time that i dashed out the store so fast. couldnt even browse.

okay i have due-d essays to do. AHHHH. i so hate essays.