it's a blur. how a day can be the best and the worst at the same time. it's like one minute, you forget about the whole world, just being with your favourite person and they left you feeling appalled at the next moment. have you ever been in such situations? cos i just did.
somehow maybe i have to get a grip at the past and move on as if the past is just history. what if the past haunts you until you fear of what is going to happen in the future or even at this second in life? live in fear or just put out a brave upfront and face it cos it is still going to be there and nothing could change it.
i've never felt so stabbed and morose that every word that had been said started to raise question marks in my head, making me doubtful of everything that i have done wrong in the past that might be right or could go right. what everyone can benefit from and perhaps they can be happier than they are cos i cant seem to give what they want. i even gave myself a chance to learn and show what you wanted me to be and i felt i kinda lost in myself. i didn't know such sincere intentions can get all complicated that it resulted in something else. the thing is i was so brainless and never ever thought it was one of the reasons until yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks. i played a game that i thought i mastered but in the end, it pinched me. how could i overlooked such a simple reason?
whether it is a compliment or adoration, it doubted me now. whether it is for me or just another sentence that makes me go 'yeaah right'. especially after adoring a really good looking person, obviously we're incomparable cos who could i defeat anyway, i'm always at the losing end. adding up to what every other person who have hinted or judge me, what makes your comments so credible for me to believe?
look on the 'bright' side, why are you with me-again?
'irdk'
as intricate as this post might be, i just want this to stay here. NOBODY (including you) to question, ask or vice versa what it's all about. i've come to a conclusion that i AM okay with it and this is just a one time affair and i am just expressing what i think about this situation.
that is it.
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