142 - let's play pretend so it'll come naturally.

Family. No matter how much you hate them or no matter how deep you hold back your anger, you will still have to accept the fact that their are your flesh and blood. a few incidents happen here and there that left me astounded but i guess people have their own rights and say about their own family.

the funny thing is that, do they even realise that they somehow will have to see the person 30 years down the road? you will start to take care of them, maybe even feel that they seem too much a burden later rather than now. so forgiving them is the only thing that could make everything back to where it was. i dont understand why people have to shun away your own flesh and blood to your ceremony.

And if things dont always go your way, there's always a reason why they are acting like that. perhaps its for your own good. even though the way it come out seems really harsh, that's the way you should live it. (eventhough i really felt it was part of my problem) but trust me, there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

i took time during my trip to look back at what i've done about the past, the present and what can happen in the future. i did try to find answers as i searched and looked at the furthest point of the sea and i just realised that the world was bigger than it was in my mind. i have never felt so small and puny in my life. that was when it struck me, there's a lot of things that i haven't discover, learn i want to leave this world as a wise person. life is short to have hatred cos it will only cost me time. i feel that i should be taking every opportunity that comes by my life and appreciate it because i can never have the time to do that if i start hating. there is like a huge sea of opportunities and i should be having the wealth of it.

so the moral of the story kids, remember how you always want to be a certain person when you grow up, you will tend to have more dreams when you reach to a certain point of age and that is when you will have the opportunity to try everything you want in life because it only comes once in a lifetime.

enough of the long lecture. new year's resolutions coming up and i will be sure i'll stick to that.

and a really deep quote i just remembered,

yesterday is history , tomorrow is mystery , today is a gift that is why they call it the present.




there's always a limit that one could take, and i think i just reached mine ):

141 - last christmas i gave you my heart.

can i be as awesome as her?

so i'm all packed to go on a short trip to a place where i called peace. a place where time stood by me slowly and a whole lot of awesomeness awaits. it has been 4 years of not going on such a trip but i pray to god it is going to be fine.

and when i get back, ill be busy with outings and the upcoming new year celebration.

till then, sayonara everybody.

see ya wouldnt wanna be ya.

:D

i am gonna miss my sugarpie hafiz hairi, a whole damn lot.
i know you know that ily.

♥

oh yeah, merry xmas everybody!

140 - love

although its not a typical love story, i admire the storyline. kudos to Radit dan Jani for making me shed tears and show how deep love can be.

and to hafiz, i'm sorry i watched it first! i couldnt wait!

139 - we're finally intertwined

so much things happened after the previous post. there were things that i did that made it not me but the whole ride was thrilling. there were things that sometimes you just have to take the truth and just go with the flow. there were things things that left me a whole lot of awesomeness and wished i could relived it again. there were things that made me really dreamy and light and has a really long side effects. there were things that made me stay up late and caused my beauty sleep disturbed but i had to finish it up anyways or i'll be dead. there were things that i've been thinking and felt that i wouldnt make any difference and i'm getting way too used to it. there were things that made me upset but i had to deal with it anyway. AND there were things that just makes me smile and just enjoy every single moment of my life and make the best out of it.

see? a whole lot of things rite?

and the list just goes on and on.

upcoming CTs, POLYMPICS, CA, Holidays, PARTY!
do support me and my teammates for polympics alright people!
its on tues at 630pm, sports hall.

my floorball skills suck so if you do come down and support, laugh at me when i fall okay?
cos ill be laughing at myself too!
HAHHA.

okbyetillifinishmyCTs.

*WIDE WIDE WIDE SMILE*

138 - LALALA AH AH RAMMA RAMMAMAMA GAGA OOHLALA WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE

school has been awesome with my wonderful dodols, making my oh so quiet days in NP a really hell loads of fun especially eating and staring at each other with darn sleepy faces, finding new eyecandies and talk about life. i'm starting to appereciate what i could make do with the people that have always been around me that i've never took notice of.

ive been busy with a lot of assignments to finish off. this includes SAWI's last steps, still need ideas to beef up my project and finding the materials for hard copy still makes me dizzy; DRAFT for NR needs to be done by this week cos i have 2 more weeks left and 1000 words don't come out from my brain just by itself; perfecting my NSL skills to ace practical test in week 5 (ALERT:NEXT WEEK); Study for FON test for next week's tutorial; AAP notes before week 6; upcoming polympics with yus and the rest (:DDDDDD i miss my floorball stick!) and loads more that i need to take care of.

____________________________________________________________________

SAWI outing with 26 monthsary outing




hotcakes smiley face :D

my lovely boy right there was really helpful to accompany me for my SAWI project. he had to follow me twice cos the first attempt was hopeless as pictures at night are a nono. So we had another outing on our 26th monthsary and the day went awesome. breakfast at mac's with mum, playing racing games on asyraf's new game consoles, walking around aimlessely while i tried to withstand the dizziness i had (cos i was losing a lot of blood) and the long story ride home which summed up everything that happen at school. he was a really good listener.

although he forgot to wish me at 12am while we were talking on the phone (i frgt abt it too. hehe) the text you gave me at 1 am in the morning was a really really sweet thing to do and i love you even more than i ever do.

happy 26th monthsary to you and i
i know you'll always be there and i've always got your back
you know i love you (:

"alaa syg, don't be like that."
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA inside joke.
:DDD

oh oh i forgot see what i got in my mailbox today!


hafiz's cute little artsy fartsy envolope
there's a small note there "send by: nasyita's postman"
hahahaha
and this is what i got in return

fitri's reply
asyur was her postman.
HAHAHHA
thanks guys
although the order was a failure.
HAHAHAHA - again.

these are the small things that make me smile
:D

137 - good girl gone way way way bad.

its either theres something wrong with me or people around me are just fcking clueless that i am ard in this world. i dont crave for attention. i just need reassurance whether i make some sense in their fucking life and worthy of being in their lives or the things i do are just not to their liking. if i don't, i am glad to leave from their lives and pretend nothing happened between us.

i really hate the fact that i cried to sleep after that incident. i am still schooling and i dont have any financial support. why the hell did she get money for who-knows when i have school and that is actually more important? not only that, she gets more than what i do. i even had to ask to get it while on her side, money flow like water just like that. what, me going to school is not important enough? ( matter of fact = it seems unimportant now cos i am a nobody ) i do have some money but how long am i suppose to use my savings on stuff that I crave for? those that you could afford for me last time but not now? or for my future? its not only a matter of days but a matter of weeks. if it means that much to you, i could give back the money that was passed. it was as if its not sincere. why give?

i really hate the fact that everytime i try to make random calls or random texts, it will just turn out bad. really bad. its like i cant call out of a sudden especially when you asked why i called. why cant i call? if i cant call then dont fucking pick up. and i thought i missed you but heck, i dont know what im feeling right now. someway or somehow, i will get mad and then you will say sorry for idk what cause, why say sorry when you dont even know your mistake which you actually should know? i know my sorries wouldnt count cause i will always tend to do it. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me like really. or maybe its you? i cried everytime you had something to do or had to go. idk maybe people dont like the way we are together?

AND i really hate the fact that people pretend that their mistakes seems okay after a few seconds. the least they could do is talk to me. why should i always make the first move and pretend it is all okay. they know they are at fault, then talk. i wont bite. the least i could do is just ignore if i am still not okay with you or you feel the pain that i had went thru because of you. they think its so easy to just forgive and forget. although i am trying my best to but it is damn hard. i know you might be thinking i am making a huge deal out of this but i kept it for too long. it has happened too many times. once in a while i had to make it okay although it hurts and i had to adapt to the new situations but after a while, i had to adapt too much that it changes things.

I TOTALLY HATE THE FACT THAT MY HORMONES ARE RAGING AND MAKE ME LIKE THIS. PMS OR WHATEVER SHIT, PLEASE GIVE ME THE TIME OF THE MONTH ALREADY. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

ASS.

sometimes i wonder why i do this.

136 - thriller night

had a fun time during halloween despite being dumped and feeling so down. the atmosphere was so exciting and spooky with all the bungalows being decorated with all the spiders, pumpkins, cotton wool to make spider webs and not forgetting the sweets! i had half a bag of sweets that i brought along with me. it was definitely worth it. it was like playing at the arcade machine which offers sweets after every one dollar, except this one, it was for free. HAHA. now i have half a month supply of sweets for my boring lectures. furthurmore, some of them are imported from the USA. cool or whaaatt? and the highlight of the day was that even makcik keropok came for halloween!

this trick or treat is gna be an annual one i guess. gonna bring people who have no plans on halloween in the years to come. this include halloween parties after that - cos we are all legal remember? hahaha.

_____________________________________________________________________

seoul garden was the bomb. i ate like i haven't ate for months and i found a person who could eat non stop like me, farhan. i swear he loves seafood like how i love seafood. the other tables were done eating except me and him, we kept taking lala cockles and prawns like nobody's business. i swear i love em prawns. yum yum yum. it got me thinking of it again. i swear i have high cholestrol in my blood. HAHA.

had a lot of meat and also stories shared. it made me realise that first impressions always have a story behind it and never judge a book by its cover. you won't know what the person went thru and became like how we intrepret it. i really misjudged people so much that when i start to hang around, they are not what you think they are. they are real people and although they appear strong or not to your liking on the outside, they have went through a lot that you can imagine. they lived through reality and not wonders as most of us are kinda privileged. and their happiness are real and they make you happy as well.

i dont know, maybe i depend tooooo much on the people that i spend a lot with in these couple of years that i tried not to get close to the ones that are new to me cos i misjudged them by having opinions made by your bffs. but heck, now i know how true friends can be. and i am not biased but i know which side i'm rooting for.

and to hafiz, i miss you a lot.

135 - doing that thing you do

i feel so tiny weeny. that is me after hip hop with tickets to international idol this friday going with the girls. steph and farhan is going to perform. can't wait for steph's awesome vocals and farhan's barracuda's performance. also this friday my class having an outing to seoul garden for our class bonding. sadly, all the savings this week is gonna get used up. but heck, mum's getting her pay. hehehehhe.

hitting party city tommorow for halloween costume hunt, asy being harry potter, sis being a dead ballerina, mum's being a pirate and me being an angel perhaps? gna go find a halo to put on. HAHA. and idk what should i match it with? a dress? nyeaha. trick and treating is gna be fun!

a lot of my soon to be weekends are full with activities not forgetting i should be starting on my assignments soon. i dont know why i am on my blog when i was suppose to start on my SAWI 1000 word essay with videos or articles and a project outline. just a list to remind me i am NOT having my holidays still..

- Singapore and world issues essay outline ( start research: Fort Canning Park? Arab street? )
- Nursing research articles & plan meetups
- AAP revision ( cnt cope with eugene's lect. )
- NSL homework by friday
- FON copy of tutorial 1 and 2
- Pharmacology test revision (TMR TMR TMR)
- Cell Molecular biology revision (DNA DNA DNA NUCLEIC ACID)

upcoming outings/events
- BDD
- international idol
- seoul garden
- hallowwwweeeeeeeeeeeen + gig
- Team bonding day
- dee's beats encore performance ($15++)
- wavehouse again?
- ... monthsary? =/ have yet to plan an awesome one yet??!

ok im getting crayyyyyyyzeeeeee.

and if anybody is observant enough, my song playlist on the blog is cool so go check it out yawll.
hahahhahahha.

i know i'm sweet like that. cos ive been drinking chrysenthemum tea ( air bunga ) and it makes me all flowerrry adding on with sunflowers near my backyard which i see them every single day when i go to school, that is just awesome. like jason mraz's song, life is indeed wonderful.

thanks hafiz for spoiling me and cooking for me so i have lunch at school.
everybody say it with me, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww :D

134 - he's the one?

we did went to our destination but me being so rushed, i forgot to bring my camera. but hey the time we spent there was totally awesome. adding on we went stargazing and shared our dinner under the sunset, played games that i always end up winning, people-watched like we always do and talked like we've never talked before.

after so long, i've never imagined that i will trust somebody as much as i did with you and i've learned so much that the thought of letting go will crush me completely. remember the walls i've built? they tumbled down, without making a sound.

promises made and hope it won't get broken.

ily.

133 - let me get what i want

i have a looooong wishlist and anybody who could get all the things that i want, i will love him/her to death. HAHA.

second day of school, i dont know why but i am loving what i do. it seems like i'm excited as the day goes by. also with awesome classmates around who are kinda blur and dumb dodols makes it more exciting. the best part is, my timetable rawks like heajfnesjlhvlkjhgsjdbgnse.


monday - looking forward to dance class :D
tuesday - cellular microbiology is darn cool
wednesday - i finish at 4
thursday - i finish at 1
friday - i finish at 12. yes, twelve noon and i can party the weekend away!

have yet to consider going to wavehouse this friday. ooooooh damn eggcited. also maybe might be going sentosa's spooktacular with foc mates or boyfee cos i have a promo which allows me to have an entry to wavehouse, a free house drink and enter to spooktacular.

also red camp coming up! of course, gna be part of it but as a HS ambassador. wohooo.

and to wawa and farah, we can barely meet now due to break slots that never allow us to meet so random texts or meetups will be treasured dearly :D

not forgetting ika and dee, hows schooooooollll babes?

132 - the way she moves around when she grinds to the beat

i love my hair in the picture and that is how my hair behaves, when i want to cut it, its damn nice. i got my hair that wanted, vanessa hudgen's. HAHA

14 october was farah's and mine 'anniversary'. we went to bugis for idk 1231435634582348 times and we went to manhattan fish market to eat. we were lucky to have student meals and were entertained with soapy love songs. there's still a bucket of pictures yet to upload so farah, you know what to do :D

yesterday's L01 raya outing was fun but a bit unorganized cos most of the houses we couldn't go. but still, i had a great time.

i'm going jamming tmr morning with the band, which i have yet to tell you guys. i have a band. hahaha i know it seems weird but yeah.

hahaha so long and goodnight gooooonssss!

131 - he talk like this cos he can back it up

there was RYAN, CA, meetup dinner, raya and rainbow slurp outing.

too many updates, so little time.

130 - ignorance is my new best friend

i had fun baking chocoloate chip cookies with the new machine my mum bought a few months ago. it's really cool i tell you. hahahaha. me and asyraf had to take 10 mins to assemble the thing.
we realised that the instructions were on the thing itself. haha. so we mixed all the things needed and the machine will just mix it for you. the bowl will twirl by itself. its really cool that it doesnt take any effort. now i'm excited to bake muffins!



so i went to johor the other time and had lots of fun shopping. i didnt had time to buy my shoe and bag so i went to orchard to get them. oh yah check this out. my wrist had a heart. :D i only realised it at 12am in the morning at giant in johor. hahaha

and yah one more surprise. even i managed to punk hafiz.
i've cut my hair.

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and i'm in love with wedges/platforms!
thought of getting one soon.
:DD

129 - i'm all yours

2nd anniversary!

so it's the time of the year again. HAHA. it was mine and hafiz's second year. a few nights before we discussed whether its going to be a big or small scale event ( an event is already big -__- ) cos it was fasting month and its hard to dine in some expensive restaurant. so i promised i planned the whole date cos he always has to do it. and yes the plan went way too good. HAHA.

i wanted to make it damn special with a touch of nasyita in it. so i started to hunt down a lot of presents, thanks to ika and farah for accompanying me to town and in the end didnt find out anything cos i had a tummy ache. thanks to my sister for following me find the right present -actually she got paid to follow -___- so the card was carefully made with my bare hands cos the papers were expensive. i nearly had a cut with a pen knife. haha. and i love making cards! adding on, i had 24 small little notes in the bag full of confetti and rose petals that my mum got from school. i feared the present wasn't what he wanted. the notes contained what i liked about him for every month that passed by us.



so i perilously hid the present in a bag and tried not to squash it and make it obvious that there was a present inside. so we went to the cinemas like we always do, running to catch a show. HAHA. we managed to catch the proposal and after that it was nearly time to break our fast and we head to popeye's at flyer. hafiz still doesnt have a clue i had a surprise in store for him after he gave me a box of fererro rocher like he used to. the funny thing was we didnt plan to wear white at the same time and we had the same thoughts of eating popeye and it came out at the same time. well, great minds think alike. HAHAHA.



after that we head to esplanade, and sat at the very same spot where i started to fall for him years back. sadly, he didnt know. but it was okay cos it was time for presents! he was dumbfounded. as he unfold the cards and carefully read every little piece of notes, he couldn't stop smiling and saying awwwwwww after every note. HAHA. and tralalalala, he finally opened up the present and was damn happy cos it was from macbeth. HAHA. i made him feel guilty cos he didnt really plan to give any presents since its small scale. HAHA.

there you go, you got a very very very happy Hafiz.


you know i love you.

♥