4 - water and a flame

tgif. nothing much happened at school on the last day. 2 hrs of lecture and that was it. random meetings couldnt happen and also disappointments filled with a whole lot of wishful thoughts that will bring me even furthur down. but i dont want anyone to be hurt by what im going through now. i dont meant to be it that way. and it seems like, my actions do hurt people when i tell truth so i shan't say much.

sometimes i just wish i am not experiencing this thing that im going through. this time my hormones? i dont think so but i have been sick for the past few days. side effects plus cramps maybe? perhaps the exam blues? or just being plain lazy and worthless all the time? i've become more unfair towards others which results me in being selfish? what the hell im going through right now, i dont even know. sometimes i even think i have split personalities. (hah)

but so much for my happy ending, it doesn't seem to turn out that way. all i want to do is just help people to be way better than what they are and if that's not appreciative enough, i don't even know where my effort lies. a whole mountain of it. and this doesn't always go to one person, but a few who have shown their inappreciativeness. unlucky thing is my sharing doesn't seem to come out with caring.

i dont know whether there's something wrong with me for being caring or my type of caring seems too much for them to handle.

and now, i have to focus on my studies.

can't wait to de stress tomorrow with girlfriends and a guy friend over at his place.

movies, swim and awesome dinner, please make me happy.