fear.

look in my eyes, you're killing me.

i talked to dee yesterday at night. it was 35 minutes of her nightmare. a nightmare that every girl doesnt want to face. being rejected.

i felt pity for her. i couldn't state down my words, i couldnt say what i wanted to say to her. my mind was cocked up. i couldnt believe he had the heart to say that. maybe he's like that? ahhhhhhh. i don't know when it's my turn. i'm giving up, seriously. i fear of rejection. i don't want to be having false hopes, shiok sendiri and in the end i get nothing. and i would regret if i never say to that someone that i love him. i had experienced it a lot of time thats why i'm always living with regrets.

thoughts makes me wonder, i do like that person but i know i'm not good enough for him. and moreover, he has changed me a lot. he has motivated me to study and do my homework. i couldnt do my maths work but i don't know why someway somehow he made me so hyper that all those difficult questions i could do and get it right. it'd take me like and hour to solve 2 questions la. and somehow between my friends i would be the next him. i love to disturb people, i like studying and solving maths questions is my magical powers? haha. besides the fact that mr lin is my hot physics teacher. hahah.

and all my hard work to cheer him up would be down the drain if he doesn't like me. history's reapeating. i did this the last time, and i guess he knew that i liked him, that he just shut off, not talking to me/not even a smile, for months. and now its getting okay (or more) as if nothing happened. i don't want it to be like that ever again. yes i'm waiting for a long time. maybe its my fault that i couldnt talk to him face to face. it's my fault. it's my fault. blame me.

but i love fizzo's words. the way he said ' guys can't read minds. just tell that person that you like him. ' he made me think. should i or shouldnt? why must guys makes it complicated? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! but thanks ah fizzo :D i love you lah dude! haha. and the rest too!

can somebody show or tell me apa ertinya cinta?