:D

When will i see your face again - Jamie Scott Feat The Town

Here I Am, Everyday,
Since You Said, You'd Come Again,
But It's Not Fair, Cos You're Not Here,
I Wait In Vain, But Nothing Has Changed,

I'm A Flower, Soaking In The Rain,
If I Could Wish One Thing, I'd Hear You Call My Name,

So When Will I See Your Face Again,
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ohh yeah),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ha),
I Think I Love You, Will I See Your Face Again,

Little Thing, Like The Rain Coming,
She Looked At Me A Certain Kind Of Way,
Tell Me Girl, Where Are You Now,
'Cos I Don't Know How Much Longer I can Wait,

I'm A Dreamer, Waiting For The Sun,
When You're Coming In, I know My Life's Begun,
Tell Me Girl...

When Will I See Your Face Again (ohh yeaaah),
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ummm um),
When Will I Breathe You In Again,
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

You Know That All My Life I've Been Waaaiting,
Waiting For Some, Someone Like You To Love Me,
You Can't Come By Like An Angel, Into My Life,
And then Fly Away, Fly Away,

Oh Honey, Cos I, Uh Baby, Ba Ba Doo Yeah, Ohh ohhhh,
Sing, I've Only Seen Youuu, Oh, I Said, Uh huh, I Said I Said, Yeah (woo)

When Will I See Your Face Again (I Wanna See You Once In My Life),
When Will You Touch My Life Again, (Wanna See You Twice In My Life),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ohhh),
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

I said, see Bap pa da doo ba ba (ohhh),
Bap Ba Doo Yeah, That's What We Do Yeaahhh (ohh),
When Will i See Your Face Again My Friend,
Oh Yeah, I Think You Gotta Let Me Know Yeah,
Ohh Yeahhh...

Click.

i'm halfway through my novel, jodi picoult's perfect match. i really cant wait who is the culprit. Nina's in jail and hopefully Nathaniel would be alright without his mum around.

click. rewind. if that is possible in life, i certainly would have.

sadly, i've been trying to be my best and trying to get into my head that i'm all alone, not attached. people say i'm heartless. yes i am. i keep every feeling to myself that i don't know what/how to feel anymore. History made me become heartless and i can't blame anyone about that except myself.

okay i'm here not to be emo or anything. haha.

anyways, blog skin changed :D life's been sucky and i'm really really in love with Dougie Poynter. ahhhh somebody shoot me.

oh yeah, i've got plans to go california on my own, so i'm finding somebody to host me. geeeee. london's calling tapi tknak pergi. cali jugak yg nak gi. aperdahh.

till then, i better finish up reading my novel and get my book review done. sheesh. O's coming. aaaaaaaahhhhhh !

useless

' try to find some alone time with an engrossing novel that can take you far, far away from your current reality. ' - that's what my horoscope says.

all i can say is, let karma take place on my life.
it was such a pleasure knowing such a pleasant sweet guy and i think you deserve better.
thanks for everything.


=\

work

holidays! yes. and i took a long time to update this blog. i've been MIA-ing for months here. i've been living my life normally, without having to use this necessity of using technology to keep up with my life ( which is the computer ). haha. i update randomly as my life gets its best or its worst, whether i am in the mood to tell the world what i've been up to. okay, i should stop this crap.

this holidays i manage to get work to find some financial support to attend to some unidentified problems, which is yet to be known. if you don't understand, act like you understand. hee. basically i need money, lots of it.

working at deli is fun, really. the food, the staff and the environment is adaptable. haha. i met a lot of different kinds of people. one that manage to get my attention is Andy. hetalkslikethisfastwithouthavingafullstoptoeverysentencethathewouldsay. basically, i just gave him a o.0 face and chuckle cos i would keep quiet and get confused. he's been working there for 2 years and he says its boring. HAHA. how ironic. he's still working there now. and having him to teach me what to do is just funny. i remembered i was being told to do this and that and i would give a comment like, 'baru kerje sini dah kene bully.' and he would like get 'pissed' with me and do the work himself when in the end, i still need to do it.

he got a special request from me. he wants to be called ninja. haha. and asyiq adds on the turtle. hahaha. he will be asking me,'who am i?' i would say, 'ninjaaaa!' 'okay, good newbird.' HAHA. its just pure fun to have someone who is like a brother to you. he's schooling. haha. i remembered there was this indian man with a low voice and was ordering. he went to change his voice to suit the old man's voice and i couldnt hold my laughter la! hahaha. 'tu baru sikit jer, you havent heard the rest. hahahah', he said. i wonder how would i react to that.

work yesterdat with dee nunu and wawa was tiring. and matter of fact, i wasnt picked today. sheesh. i hate that la.

okay, my backbone is tired. oh yah, check out the layout of my blog, its changed.

:D

geek the chic

hello ~ !

did 60 push ups and crunches, jogged around the school twice, played volleyball with uncooperative classmates, leon farted five times and he's proud of it, class phototaking was akjafklejf, walking home was wierd, maths homework compiling, fitri's bimboness is soooooo akjfakejf but i seem to need it everyday, leon waited for me doing maths which was funny, i 'smacked' boyfee's face with glue - what a day.

it's been a while since i sat down and recollect my feelings and say truthfully about what i am going to say. i miss those times. perhaps i remembered that i would post if i'm in love. and yes i do now :D

many things happened ever since the holiday break. my life seems extra special to have someone who loves me and appreciate who i am for what i am. it's just extraordinary to have somebody loving you. its funny how i'm attached. i serioualy feel that i wasnt until it really hit me. wait. i'm attached? hahaha. impossible but it's true. nyeahaha. its been 2 weeks and heading for the third. i dont really like counting the days but he always remind me after every week that passed. i would be surprised that he would remember. not that i would forgot or anything. its just that let time just pass and we'll recall how long we've been when the time is right.

and things are just where i wanted it to be. not that i want it to be this way but it just seem to fit just the right time.

i'm loving it.

:D

it has been long.

i went back to memory lane this morning, woke up at 7. ahhh. it was a chore to get up but mum forced me to and i dragged my way to shower. so we went to bp as planned. did some wierd financial stuff. and went to teck whye market and thats when i realise, it has been a while since i went there. i miss the place. i didnt know that the foodcourt was renovated, i miss the way i buy fish/prawns with this apek and i miss the smell of the market. it smells fresh and all. theres this nyonya too, selling beansprouts and she still looks the same although many years have passed. i know im sick. haha. who would like to go to a wet market early in the morning anyway?

and yes it has been long since i strolled down teck whye lane, where most of my childhood memories were made. i miss those times where i ran around the block, playing catching and gotten scoldings by my late grandfather for not wearing shoes. i miss playing water guns at the staircase, shielding myself with big umbrellas. i miss playing hopscotch, drawn imperfectly using charcoals. the best part i miss was playing outside in the corridor, hearing shouts from my mom/dad to get home as soon as possible when it hits 11.30pm. ahah. childhood memories.

haha i'm fifteen now, things change. my lifestyle isnt what it was like previous times. new friends, new love.

ahahaha. i shall elaborate on that when i feel like i'm in love.

holidays

i was too ugly for the photo. haha.

i was smsing people when my phone started beeping its more that 95% full. everytime i deleted messages, it will sum up to 95% again. so i took the time to go through every single message that people sent me. the high, the lows and the consolations. and there were 3 major events that we talked about. after reading those messages, i said to myself, i was this close. this itsy bitsy close.

i was mad at myself. i was mad at that person. but i guess its not worth the feud. what's over is over. he was left with nothing anyway. which was good right?

what i pity right now is dee. she was always left hanging after everytime she tries to say it, something would occur and spoil that chance. it happen too many times that she believes that there isn't any chance for her. maybe it wasnt a good time yet. just wait. and cheer up.

as for wawa, i love to bully her. hahah but dont take it to heart yeah?

ika, HAHA. i heard your voice over the phone. watching love is cinta eh? dah nangis dahhh?

chap, just stop crapping la eh. HAHA. but i somehow like the crapping. ok. dah nas mepek.

and as for fizzo, nyeahahaha. i shall not say anthing.

:D

byd, teacher's day, birthdays :D

ms liew, our maths teacher :D

cikgu shahida, with the malay class. elsa wasn't there.

cikgu hayati, with wawa and nas. the two, who miss her alot. :D

byd, teacher's day and a small outing was quite diminishing although a few mishaps happen here and there. well people do make mistakes and we learn from it. meeting a few seniors and getting our report books back was quite looked forward to. and the fact that leon scored lower than me, he owe me something. i heard he's buying me a watch. hahaha. everlast? wth. haha. and what happened to the green havainas? we planned to buy it nt long ago. lets just see.

after a whole lot of teacher hunting and snap arounds, we went to chill at senja grand and plaza. had snacks. then decided to go town. actually we planned to go with the whole express clan but people are people and they miss their ex's in primary sch, so they went back to their schs. haha. so it was left with dee ika me wawa and fizzo.

met shab at far east and ate chippy's. i've been having chippy every week la and i'm addicted to it. walked around, bought wawa her pressie and split up as dee ika and shab met syadiq for photography. so it was left with the three of us, walking ard town, visiting stupid places such as toys r us, where kids play with sick toys. haha. and wawa had a lot of babies! haha. sword playing was funny and squeeze balls! haha. okay that's sick. then headed to shaw, ate fastfood. met a few teacher's. had a 'stupid' talk with fizzo and wawa couldnt stop saying she's tired. hahaha. then headed to topshop and saw a few gay accents mouth spray. haha. headed to pacific plaza and went for surfboard hunting. i liked this cap at quicksilver, costs ard 40. its white and its cute la! haha. then went back to far east walked twice ard and decided to go to esp.

fizzo called his mum and gave that tone. hahaha me and wawa were laughing like there was no tommorow. haha. then headed to esp, sitting ard the powerhouse. with crappy phone calls from chap and mad. HAHA. singers with some technical glitch, causing me to think that there was a fireworks. HAHA. and also those small little stupid talks made it worthwhile :D

then on saturday, i went for a bday/family gathering. all where there except some middle aged cousins. it was an occasion for nur eliana! her bday. people were either dressed in pink/red. we went to cdans for a bowl and headed to cck park for dinner. the bowl wasnt as classy as the one at CSC. some memorable moments was that eliana had her turn and as the pins dropped, it left 2 pins at one end, and it resembles her teeth! haha. imagine a bday with no front teeth. that's what she had to confront. it was cute la! the dinner part, i remembered the butter prawn and chilli crab! and also the spongebob cake. it was all so delicious. then headed to syafiq's to meet granny. i miss her alot. i had dreams about her la. haha.

overall, i had fun and obviously, i met someone. weeeee.

be yourself day preperations

its funny how you prepare for events such as be yourself day. its this friday and i'm really working forward to it. thats where a day whereby you be yourself, play dressup and the stress mounts as you dont have anything to wear and would go on diet and save up just to find a nice outfit for that day.

i remembered when i was in sec 1. i searched a skirt with my mum, dont ask me why. and it took me like 2 weeks to search for one pathetic skirt to fit my outfit, which was a plain black tee. i seriously begged my mum for it, and finally got one. its now stuck somewhere in my cupboard, where i barely touch and wear it ever again. it was quite a disaster to wear it with a black tee and with my damn nerd face,which is damn ugly, wearing like that? oh my god, what was i thinking? i was crushed by kenneth and omg. omg omg omg. i looked like ajhfjleashjghrhga.

as you mature in sec 2, where you somehow know how to dress and somehow looked for a nice tee to kinda tone down. then you try out new hairstyles thinking it was cool to play around with big hair. and thats what i did. my hair was darn thick and had somekind of emo hair but it was emo-tak-menjadi. hahaha. and i added a few personal touch to my outfit. i recalled that i used this yellow-lime elastic band and used it with ribbon to have it as a belt. wth? but this time i got helps frm my friends to find a tee. so it wasnt that bad. hee.

but as years pass, you mature with time, the next thing you know is youre in the third year, having another cycle of be yourself day. this time its a whole lot of different situations you're going through. its like you get hungry, saving up, search the outfit yourself and thought of what others would think of you. especially finding time to go and get your outfit with your friends. thats what i did last week but didnt really helped them, just walked around chilling. and right now, after you get a tee, you would try it out with different bottoms, skinnies, shorts etc. and you cant pick what to wear so you ask a friend's opinion. then you get different views. its either you look like a minah or not on that day. skinnies seemed to be the in thing now so you would try your best to stand out from the crowd and not to be the main topic of people's conversation. now its the bitchiest thing ever. you try to impress people with your looks on that day, which makes it not being yourself. its being the best of yourself and show people thats the best i can be outside its either you take it or leave it.

with the different genre of fashion such as emo, minah, indie, retro or babydoll, i try my best not to look in any of this classifications. therefore i would go simple and make the best out of it :D

oral was okay. i dont knw why mrs ang gave a smile to me and seemed interested in what i was talking. hahaha okay that's a good sign. weeee~ but i suck at the picture conversation. theres nothing to talk about. haha.

and hearing from people what other people think of you is hurtful but you have to accept it no matter what.

and that sucks. BIG TIME.

You should never make a person love you for what you became for them but for what you already were in the first place.

post-exam results

it's been a week of ups and downs but more of the downs, and letdowns. but i had to keep strong, i had to believe myself so i wont go in to terrible thoughts of disappearing. what's impossible remains impossible and the fact that i can't change it is overrating. i want it to happen my way but things just fell into place, in a way that i dont want it to be how sweet?

common tests and good lucks had became a great way to somehow motivate me to go to school after all that has happened. i dont know what i should feel. awkward? delighted? hope for more or move on? but hearing those words just kinda made me change the way i look on him. then i asked myself am i hoping for more? if i'm not then why am i still here? wonders over wonders, actions over actions, when it only comes down to 'we're just friends'.

whatever it is, i definitely need to move on. perhaps, what goes around comes around right dee?

today seemed a slow blurry day for me. editing videos which will continue tmr, crapping with fizzo just cheers me up la. and he needs to stop singing rehab. its an awful song. dee got 'accidents' in school and wawa and chap told me what i was worrying over, thanks a lot. i need to know someway and somehow. but seriously, thanks :D

so what do you want from me now? change? this is what i am and i cant compromise to your needs. if you go for those kind of girls, i don't mind. so considering preety girls can be a big showoff to you, go ahead laa. thats not called love.

18th august, fireworks + hangout, friends = AWESOME

the girlfriends

the crazy-ness.

the crazy one

the madness one.

my punching bag and the one who cheered me up

the unpredictable one

the 'hotstuff' one.

the kecoh-merepek one.

the high-ness.

the people :D

18th august was a day with pure fun, great people, so called great music and great lightup in the sky. it was memorable and fun. the clique was just damn fun to be with.

at first went out at 2, went seraching for wawa's present with shab. had mars bars <3>

then we played eye spy. HAHAH. cotton candy greedy girl. and also shab's twist's! hahaha. so cute! and we did a few jokes to entertain ourselves. then came along azli, azhar and fit. hahaha. then came sab, ika, cweka, suzie, reymie, faiz and muse. they were very kecoh! ahahah, samsiah! then came adh and fizzy and a few unexpected guests as well. as it was getting late, a show started and me and fizzo were kutuk-ing the singer and the dj. hahahah. we were basically laughing our arses off without the rest. then came shah, syam and hafiz. said hi here and there. there were loads of people. and we were just lepaking and went merepek-ing waiting for the fireworks. i remembered fizzy was like gathering us in circles and went allocating jobs. hahahah. 'motivenyer, aku buat ni semue untuk... waste time! hahahaha' funny! lol.

the fireworks came and we went to the front, i was with dee fizzy and fizzo and the rest were at the back. it was awesome. after that i went a bit tipsy as i didnt had dinner, not enough food. took pictures here and there. was quite unexpected that he would do such thing. hes making me confused. after that headed to raffles and saw the nama saya gang and i saw lufee at last. hahah. then fizzy blanjer me an icecream. then went to raffles place to search for toilet. hahahah. me and dee were walking from one end to another end and at last we hit coffee club and went to the toilet. hahahaha. cool la the toilet.

headed home in dee's dad's car. jam and reached home ard 12. stories shared in the care was bjhdsahhgfjahgfjhegahjdgh.

fizzo teman-ed me from 12-2. i couldnt sleep. we shared our views about him. and he made me think twice. but we just chat as if it was an on off thing. i also need views from other people. so yah. beside me got hippo. hahaha, he kept me safe thru the night. hee :D

i dont know whether to wait or move on.

fireworks

it has been a long time since my family had a family outing. i miss all those times. yesterday made me felt missed of being a family together for a long time.

dad had a new job and picked us up at marina bay. we were late as the fireworks was programmed at 8 but with my sis's delydaly. hahaha. we were late. we reached an open field at 830. the place was deserted but as time pass, more and more people came and i started seeing people's head and butts. what an awful sight. haha.

most of my pictures are with head involved and i had to crop it. hahaha. how troublesome. the fireworks started and ended 15 mins later. it was awsome, brightly lit skies and nice lighting. and all those who were with someone special were like hugging lalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. and all i wanted is to just stop them cause its making me asjhfjaehgfajhgjahegj.

watever it is, we went to west coast for makan. it was fun as we talked about how we used to spent the time there the night before we go on a holiday. i miss it alot. and i wish to go on a holiday, get away with all the problems im facing. i couldnt stop talking about cambodia, the flight episode. HAHA. i wanna go fly ~

my mum said after i finish studying, i can go follow my aunt. she's in dubai now. how cool! and the other time she went to morrocco. okay. i cant wait.

and today, going to go watch fireworks again with wawa dee shab and all. meetups with fizzo mad and chap. wont hope to bump into adh and jasmine.

so long.

pressure

i cant help but blog. :D i miss blogging. heee :D

so this week was a whole lotta common test for the examinations which are coming soon. and by the time you know it, i'm taking o level's in 1 year time. how time flies and how i treasure every moment of it.

school has just been nothing but bore. with teacher's incessant talks but i somehow looked forward to lepaking after school. i just love the clique that i'm with. the different types of people just made it more special. although i'm kinda caught in the middle and sometimes couldnt predict some of the guys (with their -_____________________________- attitude) i somehow like (maybe) the way it is now. he knows, so i have no concience but things he does are making me hopeless and i guess i've had enough. maybe i'm better off with a better person. dee and me would deserve someone better, i hope.

study groups was awesome yesterday. face warping people became a new hobby getting kicked out of the library was quite sdkaljglkrjgalkjgf. like hello, people want to study. what about other people who conquered the walkway and shelves? WTHHHH.

okay. so tmr's biology and and and tues's a maths and YESSA! FREEDOM :D

Leon just make me go ajngewkjhahtew. hes damn irritating yet, he cheers me up every minute in class. hahaha.

i wanna pass my a maths, somebody help meeee :D

afterall, you're my wonderwall.

i dont know what i'm feeling.


empty? yes. lonely? yes. and rejected? very very much.
but i'm pretty much moving on already. so yeah, im glad i let it all out.

wont update till common test is over.
i hope.

'weeeee' *fake smile*

happy bday naufal :D

birthday boy :D

it was all blacks and he was the only white. it was naufal's 21st bday. dah tua dahhh. hahaha. people who came for the birthday outing/party wore black as it is his favourite colour. ahah. bowling was fun. i had a few strikes here and there. hahahaha. and people were having fun, kacauing the others and cheers for those who got longkangs. haha.

relatives and friends came. it wa quite a big group to go out together. after bowling headed for late dinner at teck whye. the buttered prawn was fab :D and geting an unexpected call totally cheered up my day. haha.

let the pictures do the talking.

cute lah tu, zaki :D

the couples :D

the family/relatives

the kecoh table :D

i told ya zaki couldnt stop acting cute :D hahahah.

yes i do.

far east :D

so much happened for the past 2 days, so let us look at it shall we. on national day, decided to see fireworks. met up with shab, dee, waty and shikin and went to far east to eat and do other meet ups with ika and gang. walked around, went to eat at kfc and headed to esplanade. reached there we couldnt get to the main esplanade. it was packed and crowded. and there were many hotstuff around, scary. choo choo trained all the way. and we met fiz at new urban male. wowee. then went to marina square. we were stucked there. i decided to stay to meet with my family and the rest got closer to the fireworks part. the fireworks was fun while it lasted.

waited for naufal cuz gf. she got lost in the way. while waiting i saw a lot of friendster friends so shared a few smiles here and there. then waited for zaki and friends at esplanade. hahaha he couldnt get to see the fireworks i guess. walked to arab street for late night dinner/supper. the people were fun to crap with. haha. until i couldnt eat properly. cant wait for saturday's party. they're gonna be there. wowee. so i would have time to wander off thinking for a while.

today, more of a walking shopping experience. bought alot of abercrombie stuff. im in love with it. went to expo thought of meeting boyfeee, but he didnt have the gig today. ungu took the stage. hahahahaaaaaa. macam paham.

somehow i was hoping when the phone rings, he was the one smsing but it turned out to be the other way round. leon is bugging me this few days. i owe him pushpop and he owes me a starbuck drink. he called when i was happily shopping for tees. he even chatted with my mum. hahahah.

i couldnt fit in a topshop tee! and im already growing tau! im growing sideways all because of topshop! okay, i cant complain much.

i'm crapping with fizzo on msn right now and its 1.50am. harry potter, limousine broomstick, ron's senget magic, cloak kene cuci, hippo family, fairy land and big fairies. all inside jokes seem to be fun. and i cant believe im laughing my arse off alone in the night and no one is outside. woooo. scary but potter will pop up any minute :D

if you do like me, tell me cause im about to move on.

countdown to national day

she's the only one left

yesterday was a whole lot of solemn, joyful and depressing mixed emotions altogether. the humanities thought me a whole lot of sacrifice made by the british to fight in world war 2. the touching stories and sad ones plus the memorial ceremony was a great way to end all the different sacrifices that touched families. the bus our class got was cool! there were comfy seats, on the higher stories, and on the below part, there was the VIPs seats. haha. we went up and down and was having fun in the bus. reen introduced me to 2 new songs, both quite fun and upbeat. the one i couldnt take was muse's unintended. hahah. sleepy yet meaningful.

then it went on to home, dad was being a tard. i didnt even talk to him ever since he scolded me for studying? WTH KAN. and now, i just dont care what he say, what he do, all i know is i ignore him as much as i can. he was waiting for me at home, when i was having fun at 1am outside. whatever la.

then came FMU's stall. it was fun making the sandwiches and getting a call from adh. haha. but the packing part went hectic and after everything, we got a break at around 7 and me dee and ika went emoing outside school, thinking of our love lifes and such. ika, good luck to you. me and dee, lets just wait for poly ah kay. or maybe even when we meet in the skies. haha.

the carnival was quite adequate. performances by the lion dance and kompang was fab. and also the makciks were cool! ahahha. i had a fun time talking to them. they made our sandwiches sort of finish. ahha. and also thanks to fizzo's family for buying and being funny :D

one thing that i couldnt stand is this girl. mintak kene smack tau. haha and only mad know who is it. hahaha. one on one eh? takyah lah eh, buat bodoh sudah she wins like duhhhh. after that i went on being a retard, crying my heart out with fizzo and dee. its like gahhhh. im starting to feel that i deserve better. ' theres a lot of him in the world with the qualities you want. so just move on kay. ' fizzo. ' nas, nvm we wait, ' dee. they cheered me up ah. but theres still feelings lingering ah.

anyways, i slept at 2 wondering why am i like this. why my situation is like this. and sort of 'confessed'. OH YAH, i made kenneth felt like he's nothing to me. i guess he's guilty? hahahahahhahahahaha. deserve you right, kan dah menyesal. GENDENG. hahaha.

let me get wasted today with dee ika and sab :D

now i'm falling i got nothing left to say

now you're the first to know.

i dont know how to say this. it is either theres something wrong with me or something wrong with people. i can't belive guys are fighting over my sister and on the other hand, i'm a loner. playing this game of 'does he? should i? no, it cant be.' i should say that it is childish in a way. so yes i'm childish.

but imagine being in that situation, lonely yet want to have that someone to be with, someone special than anyone else. you would do anything for that person and you would try to be with him/her every second and think that he/she means the world to you. you would rather see yourself hurt than hurting the person you love. and all those little little things that brings the relationship to a whole new level and those sweet memories just can't be forgotten. i crave for that.

i don't know whats with my luck with love but false hopes and pretence is just piercing through my heart right now and i don't know what to do. people are telling me be patient or move on when it all comes back to me 'do i deserve the wait? or maybe someone better?'

ahhhhhh love, it takes sacrifices and heartfelt patience and once you're in love, it's pure bliss.

today was a sleepy day for me. english CT was skngasjvlskrjfajnvajsnd. and i cant wait for tmr's carnival. i heard someone's the khalifah. hahaha. whatever it is, good luck :D and also tmr's superstar thinggy. lalalala.

fizzo got his head injured. haha. and its like you can see the skin. he was acting okay when in fact it wasnt. he was dizzy the way through and i can see that. he was heading to concussion but he kept still and sleepy. quiet yes. ahhhh, get well soon fizzo! we cant bear to lose you! haha. and i cant miss your crap ever la! take care.

see what tmr brings. i starting to hate life. pffft.

dont die yet.

just stay content

curiosity got your knees weak.

yesterday was study date with duck and waaaa. ika tagged along for a while. i was so engrossed in doing my homework at civic mac that a manager halau'ed us away. i ended up finishing most of my homeowork. eventhough the place was loud, i had my ipod and phone to keep my ears to myself. and it works a whole load. leon was text messaging me and i had to play along. pffft. he can be very lame.

the breakfast i had at macs made me full for the whole day that i skipped lunch and went on to dinner instead. having a few snacks in between. i cant believe we 'bullied' a girl in the library. hahah. it was quite sad but she was giving that i-don't-want-to-share-table-fcuk-off face. but deserve her right, her sister didnt pick up her calls. haha. i'm so saddist.

i was doubtful either to go baybeats or not. it was like jfhajehgfskjegasijg situation that i gave up and decided not to go, because of my mum. she wanted to go out and release her stress. so we went to vivo, it was her favourite place. i don't know why. she loves sipping tea in the vivo's coffee bean. my aunt followed and headed to vivo. went to eat banquet. then reached candy empire. chocolates! ahaaa.

walked around, since i wanted to get tees. went from esprit to topshop. couldnt find. went to zara and this basic tee caught my eye. so i bought it. haha. i felt misplaced in that shop. everyone were like, formally worn. haha. i'm planning to get vintage tees when i'm all saved up. i'm totally broke now and have to depend on my parents. and now that i dont have to job to depend on. pffft.

and i still can't fit in a topshop teeee ! ):

you are the star that's in my sky.

i miss getting jet lag.

it looks as if its a painting right? but it's not. its real white fluffy cotton wool clouds up in the sky, i took it during my airplane ride to cambodia. the airplane ride was pure luxury, with seats that are as comfy as a bed and picturesque views, who would ask more. this small little window helped me know that the sky goes infinity and beyond and thats where i wanna be.

like i said before, i made a deal with my aunt, an air stewardess, that i'm gonna get inside help for this job. she would make sure i would get the job. i don't know if this is what i should be thinking of at this young age but what i plan is to travel around the world, getting to know new places and different cultures, humanitarian stuffs. but these are just dreams and i would reach there someday but thinking of realistic possibilities, i would stuck somewhere in business line/law/civil service line. to get paid at a high cost of course.

enough said about my dreams. ahaaa. so out of topic.

today was okay. fizzo did his magic and made me laugh a lot today. dee too. with her face, makes me wanna laugh. and all those little little things that your friends do that makes you love them. its priceless to let it all fade away. and this someone messaged me, making me hyper. haha. but this time my phone didnt drop. lucky. yet, he keep saying that he couldnt get girls because of his physical features. but hey, look on the brightside. i'm waiting :D

i'm looking at friendster and theres this metrosexual guy. its just disgusts me. hahaa. he looks like a girl! omg. okay. nvm.

i fell asleep while waiting for dee and ika to finish their date with mr lin. HAHA. and that sleep made me dream, a wierd one. haha. the latest reader's digest about princess diana intrests me too much that i fall asleep.

so tmr's friday, skipping 3 lessons. dee, do it with me, 'WOW'! O.o

unsaid things

bowling trip on sunday

thanks for the tags above. i would certainly gain something from that.

i feel tired, exhausted and i have a whole lot of homeworks on my back. school has been so fast that next week, CT would start. and a whole lot of other activities too. plus, this friday's navy chief is coming to WS, would be an eye opener to me and maybe just kill the stress i have for the time being.

and to =) , tell me who you are? i would like to know yeah. thanks for caring :D

people are making me think of what i'm doing. should i say and jeopardize my friendship and hope for the best or just don't say and suffer in silence and not hope about it. this is so hard to do. wouldnt it be easier if he just read my blog and get a clue that its him? ahha. mepek ah nas.

today, after school was fun. me and dee had to cheer each other up. i had to eat this dessert that i haven't tried before and dee had to order for me ice kacang without the kacang. HAHA. it was funny to say it cause ice kacang without the kacang is just ICE. geddit? AHA. colourful ice i must say.

the reading article this morning was funny. haha. fizzo and nadzir made me laugh my heart out at the little details that was published in the paper. HAHA. pembersih lelaki dan wanita. LOL. and and looking for chicken cutter. HAHAH. they only highlited the first 3 words making it funny. what for would you post an ad about looking for a chicken? LOL.

you know what i need right now, somebody to tell me that everything's gonna be alright. and of course, cheer me up.

fcuktards.

expressionless.

today was the piss-iest day ever. maths was unbearable. english was okay, MT WAS LIKE WTH? and FMU MEETING was gjrenjlizshejrhgjrnhkdnkhjskljgkest. i have enough stress to handle already, can you don't add more, preety please?

i was too stressed that i broke fizzo's pen. ahhh. i'm so sorry.

i can't handle stress in times like these. i would get hypertension if something doesnt get done in time. can i just hope that history doesn't repeat itself.

and one amazing thing is that i saw kenneth at plaza today. ahahah. i was dumbstrucked. and dee saw hujan. it was coincidental. but i knew kenneth was giving that i don't want to look at you face to me. whatever la eh. i couldnt believe i fell for a guy like that. and all the misery i went through. fook you.

i realised when i fall for a person, i get too into him that i would end up hurting myself cause i know i'm not good enough for them.

please someone, its time for you to cheer me up =\

tag replies :

=): yea,u reali change... ( you are? haha change in a positive or negative way?)
dee: ehh ! sabar babe. HAHA ! move along move along ~ (i am moving along (: )
*wawa: i just realise that all ur gmbar kan. u wear the exact same shirt and at the exact same spot! hahaha. bocor rahsia! ( SHHHHHH! WAWA! OMG. HAHA. yah. but their nice i guess? )
H Y T E -: thanks nas for everything you are simply lovely. ((: ILY! ( ily too la sey! :D )
*wawa: fizzo sounds so sweet! haha.. hero of the day seh! woah! haha i got injured too! bt i love today also lah! naughty eh? HAHAHHAHA.. love him lah! shucks* ( yep yep yep. you two are sweet. )
dee: i mean i mean ! gah ! wth? haha. NASEB KRG TOLONG TAREK AKU. kalo tak aku mati ! & naseb u guys didnt let go of my hand lah ! crious i tot im goin to die ! yeaa ! fizzos the man ! gahhhh ! he's the best lah ! he save me too ! lagy2 part aku da nak mati kat steep yg tinggi ! kalo aku mati ! thxs to u,wawa,zhaf&fizzo pulling me up frm tht high hill forest! ( YESSA! :D )
AZHAR: hey, i wan some linking,.. i've lost all coz of my silly mistake.. haha.. plz go my blog and tag ur link ok.. cya ( I will when i'm editing my skin :D )

i feel alone.

this is so candid. HAHA.

so today, wasnt like any other days. this day doesnt make me happy. i looked forward to see him in school but words are a killer to me. i couldnt say what i wanna say. we did a few eye contact but i'm just prasan-ning i guess. when would i grow up? i think he's pissed with me.

yesterday went bowling with my family and tagged ika dee and wawa along. it was fun while it lasted. we had our minds off a bit. dee couldnt forget about ehem and ika missed suarez and wawa, she missed a stopped while sms chap. HAHAHA. funny. high school musical was on the tv and i danced like a maniac, and ppl were staring at me. who cares la.

i feel that i've changed, for the worst? i fear of being called cheerleader. cause i have too much to say about this person and get all hyped up and not care about others. and others are too tired to hear me talking about him over and over again. like look nas, no one cares seriously.

so why would i care about that person when he doesnt care about me, why would i even bother about him when he doesnt even bother about me? okay this situation suck. i want to make a move but im hesitant if i make the wrong move, i'm literally dead. if i make a right move, it'd be impossible to get together. and after what happened to dee and hujan, ITS JUST NOT MY TIME YET, i'm not ready to get rejected.

& i don't want to be having false hopes.

fear.

look in my eyes, you're killing me.

i talked to dee yesterday at night. it was 35 minutes of her nightmare. a nightmare that every girl doesnt want to face. being rejected.

i felt pity for her. i couldn't state down my words, i couldnt say what i wanted to say to her. my mind was cocked up. i couldnt believe he had the heart to say that. maybe he's like that? ahhhhhhh. i don't know when it's my turn. i'm giving up, seriously. i fear of rejection. i don't want to be having false hopes, shiok sendiri and in the end i get nothing. and i would regret if i never say to that someone that i love him. i had experienced it a lot of time thats why i'm always living with regrets.

thoughts makes me wonder, i do like that person but i know i'm not good enough for him. and moreover, he has changed me a lot. he has motivated me to study and do my homework. i couldnt do my maths work but i don't know why someway somehow he made me so hyper that all those difficult questions i could do and get it right. it'd take me like and hour to solve 2 questions la. and somehow between my friends i would be the next him. i love to disturb people, i like studying and solving maths questions is my magical powers? haha. besides the fact that mr lin is my hot physics teacher. hahah.

and all my hard work to cheer him up would be down the drain if he doesn't like me. history's reapeating. i did this the last time, and i guess he knew that i liked him, that he just shut off, not talking to me/not even a smile, for months. and now its getting okay (or more) as if nothing happened. i don't want it to be like that ever again. yes i'm waiting for a long time. maybe its my fault that i couldnt talk to him face to face. it's my fault. it's my fault. blame me.

but i love fizzo's words. the way he said ' guys can't read minds. just tell that person that you like him. ' he made me think. should i or shouldnt? why must guys makes it complicated? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! but thanks ah fizzo :D i love you lah dude! haha. and the rest too!

can somebody show or tell me apa ertinya cinta?

oh cinta pertama.

study group today was funny yet irritating with my brother being proud and noisy. and i had to shout everytime, making me a freaking loud maniac. and we talked about our booth on 8 of august. we thought of really making the express makeover lalala. we'll see what happens.

i just saw the ghost from alone already on tv. we watched alone at my house but the cd wasnt clear. no fun! and the advertisment is scary okay okay okay! omg. i'm freaking right now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHERE IS CHEESEBURGER WHEN YOU NEED IT?

this is not going to be short dee.

watched first love, cinta pertama, an indonesian movie. i love indonesian love movies. its really meaningful. i watched it twice and i cried again this time. 'jika kamu mencintai seseorang, maka kamu harus katakan begitu bila peluang itu datang. kerna kalau tidak maka peluang itu akan pergi begitu saja dan ia tidak akan pernah datang lagi. lalu kamu akan menyesal.'

those words torn my heart apart. should i or shouldnt? but i fear a lot is rejection. i could face it. i have enough low self esteem that i could even make myself cry. what if a guy doing that to me? worst i tell you.

and dee, sorry to hear ah. omg. seriously, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

the talk at mac was hilarious. all the diff scenarios on dates and weddings. makes me wonder what it would be like to actually fall in love and be in bloopers of dates. HAHA. omg omg omg. the mcflurry incident. scary la. no eye contact. nonono. hahaha.

but whatever it is, i love them loads. i mean life has its ups and downs and god has created each and everyone of you a right person. so don't worry. maybe god is telling you its not the right time yet or maybe he's saying he's not worth your love? ahhhh. you'll get one soon enough okay. dont be too hard on yourself.

in fact, i am tired of eating cheeseburger everyday! hahahaha. once in a while thats okay :D

my mr hero for the day.

he was the hero of the day.

friday friday friday. i love fridays i don't know why but today seemed better than any other days but still couldnt beat the best day of my life. :D

FMU was the only thing that made me content. We were suppose to do nothing today so we did a few excercises and trekked the jungle next to our school. it was yuck but the people made it fun. for example faizzin got reception on his phone. HAHA. in the jungle. imagine that. and mad was hated as mud was his best friend. and dee for shouting so loudly when she thought it was an insect on her hand but it was eventually a twig. ika was with keYAQINan. hahaha. and wawa was sweet with her PBI. haha. so so sweet. jealous tau. 'naughty eh?' everybody went 'AWWWWWWWWWW.'

and fizzo was so sweet today! he saved me alot. from red ants, mosquitoes, branches with thorns, leaf traps, this furry big fat worm, twigs stuck on my leg, leaves on my hair, slopes, big longkangs and slippery leafs. he kept checking if i was okay. and i'd be like 'er yah.' aha. when i wasn't really okay. the first slope took eternity la. he was the anchor man and we had to carry dee up. hahaha. i couldnt let go. okay shan't elaborate more. and the soccer match was funny. i had to defend him and he always got his way. hahahaa. and thanks for the song dude. i love it! hahaha. thanks hero. let me borrow your POA book again. weeee~

i don't know why but i hope i'm giving the right message. if he does like me i hope what he think he's doing is right. but i realised we've been getting closer la. but but but. i have no topic to say to him and it'd be like so awkward. padahal di msn kami bercakap seperti kawan biasa. but outside, its like i can't talk to him. its just wierd.

oh oh SS test postponed. WEEEEE~

today was official injury day. zhaf got his teeth banged by fahrain, rain fell down on a slippery floor, dee got hit by a metal thingy, i slipped and fall in the forest. maybe there were lots more but i didnt noticed.

i was longing for it, it felt right?

how ironic.

exams coming around the corner. i wanna have study dates. clique? how? i need help in Amath and math most probably. i could teach you POA in return. lalala. make a date please please please.

i'm mesmerized with chris brown's moves in his latest wall to wall video. especially the last dance part. i wanna learn that! its coool! haha. but chris brown seems thinner and he's got more muscles than before and a new tat and also a new haircut. okay nas, ape ko mepekkk. he's hot.

ironically, i've been upset these few days. i don't know whats my reason for it. certainly it would be my parents. how naive they're acting to each other. and my so called friend situation and also this someone. i found out that when i'm ecstatic, no one would be there to share my joy. maybe there is but they do half heartedly. they would be down and i cant seem to cheer them up and get high with me. now when i'm down, i'm all alone, quiet and being away from my friends, they'd be extremely happy that i couldnt say anything and just smile and hope for the best for them. and seriously the word alone is really alone. and i don't have to share my sorrows with. but that's okay.

and its funny how my phone would drop when i get this person's messages. my phone's all dented and scratches here and there. its weird. i guess my phone knows how i'm feeling too but don't suffer first my beloved phone, i still need you. :D

and wawa's convo during recess was funny. i didnt even listened to her. i sorry i was blinded by my sight. haha. i know you know la okay. and and thanks syafiqah for smuggling food for me and cikgu syahida's laparness during MT. haha funny yet.. funny. LOL.

Blasting my earphones with yellowcard, the used, silverstein and boys likes girls made me scream my heart out. i had to do that to let my anger and frustration out. it helped alot. but my siblings were pissed with my monotonous yet loud. who's not pissed? haha.

till here, i hope there would be better days for me ahead.

(:

maybe there's a way out

my thoughts are wondering and wondering. i'm never gonna get him. sheesh. i'm trying. very hard. and i feel like giving up, i couldnt bear risking our friendship.

good luck to dee and lala :D you'd be the sweetest couple ever with him okay. i know you can do it and i hope he's ready. ahha. 20.08.2007? hahaaaa. as for me? 20.09.2oo7. ape mepek deeee :D she thinks too far but thats good actually. stay long with him. go go go dee! padahal belum ada apa-apa lagi la. and after that the singles by the singles will lose another member. LOL.

okay okay okay. its been long since i barely talk to him. and aidil maccaronni is online after a long long long time and i said hello and he didnt replied. SHEEEESH. aidil menghilang seh! i wonder how he's doing right now. i couldnt believe ika said i let go of a hardcore kid, which i like and he does seem to respond. that was a long time ago. ever since kenneth got in the way. sheesh, i'm so dumb.

but yet, right now all i want is to speak up and say the words i wanna say. making it unobvious. i like that someone okay. :D

i wonder when would this happen to me :

Our bodies to hand with the Jersey shoreline
Connecting the tide to the sand that was dry
And we both laid entwined, stared at the night
Clouds overhead, but that was all right
Cause then and there with the wind in your hair
Heaven was jealous to merely look fair against you
And all I need now is for this moon to keep light in its desolate skyline for good

So divine is this happening
Cant I just graze your skin
For the rest of our time
But time isn’t letting this night go on
Till then and there, the wind in your hair
Nothing in this world could keep me from staring at you
And all I need now is for that sun to stay under its glowing horizon for good,
Failing you now

You could get lost in a night like this
So empty your thoughts and open your heart to the bliss
Cause these are the nights

forever and a day.

i look better in pictures, seriously.

so today was more fun than yesterday. okay i just cant get away from my clique. its like we can't be separated? weeee :D i love it okay. share the bondness. imagine wawa is already with ehem and dee is with lala and ika tetap yaqin, i'm with?

it's hard to say who i like. i like everyone. but i tend not to talk to the person i like and would just observe their every move. if someone feel that way, i'm sorry. i cant let my words out. i tried to talk but the words just can't seem to come out. i'm not silent or anything. i can't speak. i'm like that. that someone would make me speechless and i'd stutter. if i have been acting that way to you, go get a clue. :D but i'm not hoping and i would stop hoping. i'm gonna give up someway somehow.

i treated dee wawa ika adh fizzo chap fiz and rain missy donuts :D i don't know why i would plan such a silly thing but i wanted to cheer up this someone as dee said he was frustrated. i couldnt ask him so i ended up treating a whole lot of people. haha. and it's cause i got my pay. so, i hope they like it. lepak-ing with them was just extreme fun. crappy yet fun. and i was in a daze after eating 2 almond choc donut, fries, some cheeseburger and ice lemon tea. also fahrain walking round in circles and just doesnt want to stop and farts given without warning, making me more dizzy.

so overall, i love love love today. i guess its getting better and better forever and a day. and i'm pleased to go to school today because i love today!

:D

you make me wanna drop, you're so ridiculous i could barely stop.

so go on and say my name somemore.

yes, i'm adequate

i was looking forward to go to school today. why? looking forward to see all my friends and loved ones that i miss. wierd i know. HAHA. but dee wanted to go early today as she wanted to wrap some present for rain. yessa. rain, happy bday

hugs from wajihah after every lesson became a necessity. i feel loved after a whole lot of it. and of course dee's crappyness, ika's blurness, adh's goofiness and fizzo's 'mintak kene sepak' attitude became close to my heart these few days. i enjoy them very much and i can't bear to loose it all.

i don't know why but these are the things that get me to school everyday. even lessons bore me to death. i tried to not sleep in A*math lesson today as i don't want to be judge by other people that i'm a bad person. 2 periods plus emath period before, total of 3 period of math, all after recess. math was quite relaxing but confusing. had to do this correction. AHHH. chore i tell you. CHORE. and i made a new friend for amath! LIQING! YEAHHH. hahahah.

her : 'ehh whats the factor?'
me : 'i don't know. ask cher.'
her: ' i don't want'
me : ' i tell you the remainder is -27'
her : ' nooo. its 27'
me: ' noooooo. its -27'
her : ' nolah!'
me: ' *gave up* just go put -27 then you get the right ans.'

she ended up with the right ans anyway. HAHA. and i lost my file's slider. HAHA. and now it cannot be closed.

for some wierd but good thing, this guy is getting closer. yes i like it but dont give lame reasons la sey. HAHA. just say what you want. okay. i'm not in a rush and i'm not expecting things. but just make a move when you want to okay. i don't wanna regret anything and i don't want to loose anything from my life. and i blushed just now. after a quite stupid actions. HAHA. ape ko mepek nas

after school went to lot 1 to eat lunch at ljs. dee was quiet. didnt get what she wanted. so i couldnt say what i wanna say. but i hope i made her happy with the fries and all. HAHA. kan kan gf? LOL. and she said hotstuff while i was crossing and she also said borebaretom. HAHAH. it was meant to be barebottom. and nunu got teased, ' LULULULU!' hahah. coffee bean incident

okay i know this post is quite empty but i dont see whats the point of my life, serious.

:D

i don't know why, i can't keep my eyes off you.

NUNU is love (:

it was suppose to be a date for me and dee, study group but nunu tagged along to hang out. and i love her laughter, very cute indeed. i remembered the coffee bean guy got her name as lulu and not nunu. HAHAHA. and then they played with the name lululululululu. OKAY. i know thats sad but that was the highlight of the day.

wanted to go to orchard library. it was packed and too small. it doesnt even look like a library to me. haha. there were some functions going on. but it made us change our minds to study at coffee bean in taka. that's when stupid stuff happened. nunu being called lulu, a guy went into the ladies toilet, i became a teacher and taught dee and dee got a surprise from her be-friend. we did girltalk in between our homeworks. mine went down the drain. i didnt manage to finish it up. so tmr would be a boring homework day for me.

went to marina square for lunchner. ate at lerk thai? LOL. the service was bad and there was a frantic baby in the restaurant, crying his heart out a lot of times. made us pissed. and i learnt to 'walk (ta-teh) ' like a baby. HAHAHA. i got a cramp after walking with dee stupidly. i didnt know why. and nunu got her leg cramp after eating. HAHA. it was funny. and the walk from marina to penin was a chore. i had my leg filled with blisters as i was wearing a new shoe and we were mad at searching the toilet. HAHA. and and i saw SAYDIQ, IKA! omg. *speechless*

somehow someway, i feel empty during bus rides home. yesterday was one of them and today i didnt cry but i held it inside. i don't know why but i feel like a failure in life. with my parents and my siblings. my friends to a loved one, who doesnt know i love him. everything is just a failure and i feel empty. what have i been doing to people these past few days, they dont deserve it. especially mum, i totally did not gave a listening ear. and this 'cheerleader', i shouldnt mention who ruined most of our lives, we fear of her prawling on the guys we like. its just, failure.

i should change from now on. be a better person, get noticed and smile. i still have to hide away all my pain and suffering inside but a smile won't hurt anyone.

now what i fear is ... falling in love.

me and dee, giving fake smiles.

sorry tkde gambar lagi lawa. send me the pics.

i gotta show you i'm the one.

one day, there live 2 nerds in school. they werent paying attention much to the teacher and was being rebels. it turned out that one of the nerds is gay, with a nice hairstyle.

aha. thanks ah leon, bro. you cheered me up in school every day (:

friday it is and it was a mayhem. family probs, friend probs, academic probs. just so many problems yet i'm trying my best to have fun.

family's been fcuked up. yes. i couldnt bother getting into it. friends has been great. congrats to wawa and her boyfriend! at last i can call him boyfriend. HAHAH. good luck to you and him. i know he gives you laughters and all. so you're totally happy now right? good good. i envy you. pftttttt ~

school's been hyper lately. jz, leon, ch, fit, dee, ika, wawa, adh, fizzo - great friends okay. hahah. i realised we lepak after school everytime and its like hard to say goodbye to each other. but too bad fizzo had soccer at kallang stadium today. me, 'kalau kau lambat camne?'fizzo, 'bola main aku ah'. me 'macam mane tu'. THAT SOUNDS SOOO WRONG. hahahahah. went on to fits of laughter.

and i'm glad this other guy has been making me happy since that day. i have been remorse/alone/mundane for the past 2 terms and i went depressed because of the way i look. this guy made me ecstatic ever since and left me hyper all the time. the thought of him just makes me go lala. and i'm trying my best to show, yes. i'm trying okay dee :D its like the first time i fall for someone. ahhhh. (:

bukit chandu today was a blast. had fun playing volleyball/soccer. ahahaha. was fun, and sorry adh you had to take the ball from like a 5 storey hill lar sey. becoming a hero eh? LOL. sliding down the road and having adh to be on fire was a blast. HAHAHA. its like, magic? LOL. okay okay. i hurt my angkle after sliding. a scratch but it was okay :DD

girl talk is so fun. and i'm gonna confess everything to dee about what i'm going through right now. tmr's a date then, me & dee, orchard library. i'm saving my tears for tomorrow.

and i did cry on the way back home.

=\